My World
by Kelly of the midnight dawn
Summary: Elliot and Olivia find love but it may be too late. New friends and new enemies line the long road ahead. Will they make it through? EO and maybe a few other pairings
1. Chapter 1: My World

My World

Disclaimer: I don't own them but I'm suing for custody on the grounds that separating them is cruel.

A/N: Ok so I watched "Fault" and I just had to do this. I know that everyone is writing these but that's because it was such an awesome episode! So if you take the time to read this I hope you enjoy.

Spoilers: "Fault" (no kidding)

He tossed his keys on the counter as he fell into a chair and flipped the TV on, such normal actions to conclude such an abnormal day. A gun had been held to his head, he should be a lot more shaken up than he was. The truth of the matter was that during the whole ordeal all he had thought to himself was 'take the shot so you can get out of this alive'.

She hadn't taken the shot, she hadn't needed to, a sniper had been kind enough to finish their perp off for them. Afterwards he had finally let himself make a partial admission to her. That she was one of the few good things left in his life and he didn't want to lose her. But that wasn't the whole truth.

In that one instant when she had fallen, the one second when he had decided to put her safety before the job, that instant that had cost that little boy his life, Elliot had realized as he dove for her, pushing people aside in a panic, just to reach her, he had realized that she was his world. He loved her and he couldn't begin to imagine his life without her in it.

The TV provided no comfort to his aching soul. She had asked for a new partner. He had told her that if they couldn't put the job before each other that they couldn't be partners. She had obviously decided that he meant more to her than the job did. He hated that he would have to work with a new partner but not as much as he hated himself. He wished that he had been able to be the first to ask for a new partner. He wished that he could let go as easily as she had but he didn't trust anyone else with her safety.

Confusion reined supreme in his mind. That one second, his worst nightmares come true and the choice needed to be immediate. Olivia or the boy, his partner or the case, the woman he loved or the job. He had chosen the former, he had chosen Olivia and the boy had died because of it. He was angry at himself but not because the boy was dead, he was angry at himself because he knew that he would have done it again if he had the chance. He would save Olivia a thousand times over if he had to.

If he did that, how many would die just because he loved his partner? The possibilities scared him. Perhaps Olivia had made the correct decision after all but damned if he was going to let her go. He rose from his chair and turned off the television. He retrieved his keys that he had set down only minutes before and headed out the door, down to his car.

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She sat on the edge of her bed. Exhausted but not willing to go to sleep. She knew that if she managed to go to sleep, her dreams would be flooded with images of that little boy in the bus station, that little girl when they found her and most horrifying of all, that sick bastard holding a gun to Elliot's head.

She thanked a God that she really didn't believe in for the sniper that saved her Elliot. She would have dropped her gun, in that one instant she would have sold her soul for Elliot's deliverance, as long as he survived, her life was expendible.

She loved him, he was her world and fate had almost ripped him from her. She could never do that again. She could never put him before the job but she knew that he would always come first. So she asked for a new partner. It was perhaps the second to last thing she wanted to do, the first being having to attend Elliot's funeral.

"I love you," she whispered to a picture that lay on her bedside table. She closed her eyes as she held the picture to her chest. The tears came freely 'He'll never love you, that boy is dead because of you. You're weak, just like she always told you you were. It's your fault that that little boy is dead. It's all your fault, You miserable excuse for a human being!'

Her mind wouldn't let her sleep. The tears continued to fall. She sat up in bed and reached for her gun. Her hands had been shaky in the warehouse and they shook now but this time she had complete confidence that she would hit her target. She closed her eyes and held the gun to her head. She felt the cool metal against her skin. The tears were still falling.

She had to do this, it was the only way to set him free. He was a part of her and it wasn't fair, not to him. Elliot was a damn good cop and she would not be the thing that destroyed him. Somehow while she held the gun to her head her feet had managed to carry her to the living room window. She looked down upon the city, New York City, the city that never sleeps, the big apple, so many grand names for a city whose true nature was vile and evil.

She disengaged the safety and prepared to end it all. Just then she heard a key turn in the lock of her door. Before she could so much as move she heard his voice.

"Olivia, Oh God no!" his words came out sounding almost identical even in their tone to the ones he had uttered at the bus station. His world stood in front of him ready to disappear forever.

She turned to face him. The grip she had on her gun loosened considerably. She couldn't do this, not in front of him. She dropped the gun and fell with it to the floor in a heap of tears and misery.

"I can't," she whispered through her tears.

He sat beside her and pulled her into his lap. He saw her gun lying on the floor near them and kicked it across the room. As he began to stroke her hair he whispered "Shh Olivia. You're stronger than this."

"No I'm not," she protested weakly through a sob.

"You are," he held her even closer than he had before and tilted her chin up to face him "I know you," he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear "You are much stronger than this."

She looked into his eyes, saw her world welcoming her to him with open arms "I… I could have… lost you," she buried her face in his chest.

'And I still might lose you' he thought as he held her, running a hand up and down her back "I'm here," he reassured her "I'm alright."

She looked up at him again "This time," she looked away and toward where her gun lay. Elliot had kicked it away to keep her from shooting herself while she lay in his arms. The gun, a gun had been held to his head. He had told her to take the shot but she had been to afraid, she was too afraid that she would lose him. She took a deep ragged breath and tried to speak around the tears that flowed faster now "Next time you might not be so lucky. I…" she trailed off.

He looked at her. The sniper had been a stroke of sheer luck that had saved both of them. In the bus station it had been sheer luck that made the knife miss its mark by just two centimeters. Luck eventually runs out and Elliot knew this fact. Could the events that had lead up to this moment been some sort of a warning. Should he take a chance and bear his soul to her. He realized that he might never have the chance again.

"I love you," he whispered as he tilted her face up towards him once more and placed a gentle kiss to her lips.

She heard the words and didn't believe them "How can you?" she asked in that teary whisper that was the only sound she could manage.

"I'm not sure," he admitted "I love the kind of person you are. I love how devoted you are to the job. I love how you care so much for everyone else," he pulled her up and the two of them moved onto the couch.

"If I were stronger," she mumbled in self defeat "that boy would still be alive."

Elliot felt his own tears stinging his eyes "It wasn't you," he took a deep breath and admitted the truth that had been stalking him since it had happened "I made my choice and…" he looked her in the eye "I don't regret it."

His words burned into her brain and etched their pain into her soul. She felt her body begin to shake and she couldn't regain her control. She sobbed hard into his chest "I would have made the same choice," she said softly.

"I know," he placed a kiss to the top of her head because her face was still hidden in his chest.

Olivia's sobs slowly diminished as Elliot sat with her, stroking her back and whispering over and over again "I love you." The sobs subsided completely until only silent tears remained. Falling in torrents but falling quietly. She finally pulled away, wiping her eyes hurriedly as if she could hide from Elliot the fact that she had just been crying.

She sat in silence just staring at him in the darkness of her apartment, the only light coming from the street. Finally she spoke "I can't…" Elliot was all she had ever wanted but the circumstances leading up to this moment were not at all happy or perfect. She couldn't be with him. That little boy would always be on her mind and she knew that neither of them would be truly happy with that memory always in their heads.

She looked down at her lap, refusing to meet Elliot's gaze as she kept speaking "Please leave," she whispered even softer than she had before.

Elliot remembered the gun, he remembered what she had been just about to do when he had come in. An overwhelming urgency had tugged at him when he had first arrived, even before he had opened the door. The feeling that something was very wrong had compelled him to open the door using the spare key that she had given him for emergencies. He pulled Olivia towards him once more "I don't want to lose you," he told her, his voice thick with tears "I can't leave you."

She made eye contact with him at last and could tell in an instant what was in his heart. He was sinking, he was broken and he felt her slipping away from him. His eyes spoke it all to her. She lay her head back against his chest "I don't want to lose you either but it hurts."

"I know," he said as he ran his hand up and down her back, pausing now and then to trail his fingers in little circles "My Olivia," he whispered as if to himself "My beautiful, courageous, caring, kind Olivia." He lowered his head so that his chin rested on her shoulder "You don't deserve this. You should be happy. You deserve all the happily ever afters of the world."

She felt her eyes drift closed, exhausted from crying, she was starting to fall asleep. Before she drifted off she mumbled one last response "You deserve the world."

As her breathing evened out Elliot realized that she had fallen asleep. He looked lovingly at her as she lay in his arms, bathed in the gentle light from outside and in that moment, he knew that he indeed had the world. His world lay in his arms, his world breathed softly and evenly against his neck, she was his world.

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She woke up a few hours later. The first thing she sensed was that his arms were still wrapped tightly around her. They were lying on the couch. She was lying on top of him and could hear his heart beat as her head rested on his chest. She looked up to see his peaceful sleeping face. From what she could see, it didn't appear as if he had had a nightmare and as she thought about it she hadn't had one either.

As she looked at Elliot, the soft glow from the street lights gave him an almost ethereal appearance. He was her angel she decided as she nuzzled back into his embrace. She fell asleep again with only pleasant thoughts in her head. The guilt she felt was something that she knew now that she could handle. She knew that she and Elliot could face it together.

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Elliot's eyes opened to see that the room looked much brighter than it had when he had fallen asleep. He quickly glanced at his watch it was 7:12am. He smiled as he looked down at Olivia's peacefully sleeping form. A ray of sunlight fell across the both of them, illuminating a few strands of her hair that fluttered haphazardly out of place. Her face was angelic as usual but free of the stress and pain that always seemed to be ingrained into her features when she was awake. She looked like an angel and Elliot couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as he bent his head and his lips met hers in a gentle kiss.

"Mmm," Olivia moaned as she woke up to the wonderful sensation of his lips on hers. She parted her lips sliding her tongue tentatively out, running it along his lips softly until he too parted his lips and the kiss quickly deepened.

"What a way to wake up," Olivia said breathlessly as they separated and she once again layed her head on his chest.

The two of them lay there like that for a long time. Elliot was the one who spoke first "We have the day off," he reminded her in a suggestive tone.

Olivia moaned desirously and groaned regretfully all in one syllable "I made an appointment with Huang," she told him.

"When did you do that?" he asked somewhat surprised.

She looked away from him and stared at the floor "Yesterday, right after… well after I asked for… you know," she stopped after that, she knew Elliot would fill in the missing pieces.

He pulled her back to him as she attempted to get up. Another quick kiss on the lips and he wrapped his arms tightly around her once more "Don't worry about it. I'll still be here when you're done."

She looked at him "You'll still be here?" she asked softly, hopefully wanting it to be true but not being able to believe it.

Elliot smiled up at her from his prone position on the couch "Well I don't have to be on the couch," he winked "I could be in the kitchen or…" he paused and lifted his head to whisper in her ear "Or anywhere else you want me."

She felt a blush crawl up her cheeks and she chose to hide it by burring her face in his chest once more.

"What time is your appointment?" he asked as he took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair as it tickled his chin. He felt so content just to lie there on her couch, holding her, just being with her. He traced designs on her back with his fingers, feeling the soft fabric of her t-shirt as he trailed gently down her spine.

"Mmm," she moaned contentedly at the sensation of his touch "Not until two this afternoon," she mumbled against him.

"Well then," he said with a smile as his fingers found the hem of her shirt and started to trail there way along her bare flesh "No need to rush."

Olivia suddenly shivered. Elliot caught the slight movement and stopped the path that his fingers had made "What's wrong?" he asked concerned as he started to sit up.

"Nothing," Olivia said immediately "Its just that its… a little… chilly out here," she rubbed her hands up and down her arms slowly not wanting to look at Elliot. He seemed so comfortable on her couch and she didn't want to disturb him but it had been cold in her living room all night.

Elliot sat and faced her. He wondered how long she had been cold. Of course it had been nippy in the room and he had noticed it but he didn't think that it had bothered her. But as he looked at her he noticed that she must have been very cold. She was only dressed in a t-shirt and sweat pants. Was she really so afraid to ask for anything for herself so simple as a blanket or moving into her bedroom? He took off the suit jacket that he was still wearing from the day before and held it out to her "Why didn't you say anything sooner?" he asked.

Olivia reluctantly but gratefully excepted the jacket and put it on, pulling it tight around herself "You just seemed so comfortable and the heat doesn't go any hire than 60 anyway. I keep calling the Super but he hasn't gotten around to fixing it yet. You know, because 60 is warm enough that the pipes won't freeze and…" she was babbling.

"Shhh," Elliot put a finger to her lips "Its ok," he looked to the back of the couch where he knew she usually kept a blanket but it was no where in sight "Where's the blanket that's normally here?" he asked, feeling like an idiot that he hadn't noticed it before.

"In my bedroom," she told him "its just been so cold in here lately," she looked down at her lap ashamed for what reason Elliot wasn't sure.

"Let's get you warmed up," he said reassuringly. He stood up and reached a hand down to her. He lead her into her bedroom and pulled back the covers of her bed for her. She slid in gratefully and smiled up at him as he made as if to tuck her in.

"Elliot…" she began, feeling completely foolish.

"Yeah?" he asked as he sat on the bed and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

She looked up into his gentle eyes and couldn't help but feel instantly strong enough to ask her question "Would you mind lying with me?" she knew that he had had no problem being with her on the couch but being in her bed was a whole different story. She wasn't exactly sure how he would respond.

Elliot flashed her a stunning grin as he flipped back the covers on the other side of the bed and slid in next to her. "I was hoping you'd ask me that," he whispered playfully as he pulled her close to him.

Olivia felt his strong arms wrap around her and she couldn't remember a time that she had felt safer in her entire life. The two of them lay beneath the blankets, lost in each other's embrace, simply enjoying being near one another until they both drifted off to sleep.

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Elliot stirred slightly and looked at the radio alarm clock on Olivia's night stand it read 10:47am. Elliot glanced back down at Olivia. She looked so comfortable and so peaceful. He too felt the overwhelming peace of just being with her but the day was slipping away from them and he knew that they would have to leave her bed eventually.

"Hey," he whispered as for the second time that morning he woke Olivia up by kissing her.

She slowly allowed her eyes to flutter open emitting a lazy moan as her lips parted slightly. This kiss however was shorter than the first as Olivia pulled back rolling over to catch a glimpse of the clock "Is that really the time?" she asked, knowing full well that it was but not wanting it to be so that she and Elliot could just lie in bed together for a bit longer.

"I'm afraid it is," Elliot groaned as he made a move as if to sit up but the allure of the warm blankets and Olivia's waiting arms was just too great. He pulled her body flush against his "Come on," he kissed her all over her face until their lips met once more.

"I would love to," she said as she leaned closer into his embrace. Suddenly their revelry was interrupted by the ringing of Olivia's cell phone. "Damn it," she muttered as she rolled away from Elliot once more so that she could reach the phone where it lay on her bedside table "Who the hell calls on my day off?" she asked as she flipped the phone open. "Benson!" she was so frustrated with being interrupted that she screamed at the person on the other end.

Elliot smiled to himself. Anyone who knew Olivia Benson knew not to come between her and her days off for anything less than a life or death emergency. From the sound of Olivia's side of the conversation, this was not one such call.

"I'll be there," she told the poor soul on the other end of the call in an I'm-so-not-in-the-mood-for-this-right-now tone of voice before she flipped her phone closed.

"What was that about?" Elliot asked as Olivia sighed heavily and rolled back over to face him.

"Huang said that some things came up and that he had some cancellations and rescheduling things and blah, blah, blah," she began, casting her gaze up towards the ceiling "and anyway he wanted to know if I could please come in at noon instead of two because that would be the only time that he would be able to meet with me today," she reluctantly tossed back her covers and tentatively slid her legs out of the bed "And I told him I'd be there."

"I'll make you some coffee," Elliot called after her as she headed into the bathroom to shower and get ready.

"Thanks," she called back over her shoulder as she shut the door behind her.

Elliot headed out to the kitchen. On his way he tripped over something. He looked down and saw Olivia's gun where he had kicked it the night before. He quickly picked it up and carried it with him into the kitchen. He stared at it in his hand, simple metal that had the power to protect but it protected by destroying and last night Olivia had been planning on using it to destroy herself. He shuttered as he remembered the image of her standing there, staring blankly out the window as she held the gun to her own head, her finger on the trigger.

He tried to shove those images as far out of mind as he could. He opened a random drawer in Olivia's kitchen and placed the gun in it along side boxes of Ziploc baggies. He closed the drawer and continued making coffee.

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As Olivia pulled the light blue shirt over her head she thought about how natural it had felt to have Elliot wrap his arms around her, how right it felt to feel his lips pressed against hers. He was an amazing kisser she decided, his lips knew exactly how to draw the utmost pleasure from one kiss.

She even allowed herself to think about what it might feel like to make love to him. She realized what she was thinking and tried to put a stop to those thoughts but it was too late. She caught herself blushing in the mirror as she applied her eyeliner. "Stop it," she said out loud to her reflection "This isn't right and you know it," she practically growled. She finished getting ready and stepped out of the bathroom. She walked into the kitchen hoping that her face didn't betray her in front of Elliot.

"Hey," Elliot flashed her a brilliant smile as he held a steaming mug of coffee out to her.

She briefly returned the grin as she excepted the mug from his outstretched hand "Thanks," she said before taking a cautious sip of the hot liquid. The smile returned to her face almost instantly. Exactly the way she liked it, he had fixed her coffee exactly the way she liked it. It was amazing the little intimate details they knew about each other.

She finished her coffee and placed her mug in the sink. She checked her watch, 11:45. How had it gotten so late with out her realizing it? She quickly grabbed her coat from where it lay over the back of one of her kitchen chairs. "I should get going," she told Elliot as she grabbed her keys and headed for the door.

"Do you really need that heavy coat?" Elliot asked as way of making conversation as he stopped her just before she reached the door of her apartment. He ran a hand along the side of her face and placed a chaste kiss on her lips "Its spring," his hands found their way around her waist and he held her close.

She pulled away smiling somewhat guiltily at him "I get cold easy," she admitted looking down at the ground as if it were something she truly needed to be ashamed of and in Olivia's mind, it was.

"Alright," Elliot's understanding tone tried in its two syllables to erase what ever it was that she had been told that had made her ashamed to admit something as simple as getting cold easily but he knew that in reality it did very little good. "I'll see you later this afternoon?" he added hopefully.

She nodded "I'll be back here as soon as I'm done," she told him. She turned and opened the door and was about to step outside when Elliot grabbed her around the waist once more and pulled her back into a tight hug. "Elliot," she protested through a giggle "I'm gonna be late." Elliot kissed her with such intensity that it left her breathless but after the kiss had ended he released her. "Bye," she called back as she disappeared down the hallway.

Elliot stood in the doorway, still in shock himself over what had just happened. He had grabbed her and held her tight because he had been all of a sudden overcome by an overwhelming fear. A fear similar to what he had experienced the night before when he had been compelled to use the key to unlock the door to her apartment. He couldn't shake the thought from his head as he heard her footsteps fading away, that he would never see her again.

TBC

A/N: Okay so I wanted anything I was gonna write for a post "Fault" fic to be just a oneshot but God hellp me I just can't write oneshots. I thought of a plot I think and there will be more chapters, hopefully. Please review and tell me what you think. I really enjoy the feedback.


	2. Chapter 2: Fear and Broken Glass

Fear and Broken Glass

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Olivia stepped out into the street. The day was quite breezy and she pulled her coat closer around her as she walked towards the parking garage where she kept her car. It wasn't a very long walk and soon she was scanning the rows of cars in an effort to locate hers.

Her lips still tingled from that last passionate kiss before she had left him. She wondered at the energy that he had put into that last gesture. She tried to put the feelings out of her mind but it was hard to keep the small satisfied smile from playing across her lips on the way to Huang's office.

She knew she didn't deserve to feel as happy as she did about Elliot but the slight blush that colored her cheeks betrayed her. She shouldn't be happy she didn't deserve it. She had failed and that little boy was dead but Elliot. There was Elliot, Elliot was carrying the same pain. The same demons of this case haunted him.

She had felt so safe in his arms. Never in her life had she felt so safe. And she knew that she absolutely didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve to feel safe. She didn't deserve to be loved. That poor little boy had been in danger and Elliot had chosen her. She didn't deserve to be loved the way he loved her.

The most painful thing was that she loved him too. She loved him so much that it hurt to love him. It hurt but it was such a beautiful pain. A pain she didn't even deserve. No what she deserved was much darker, more violent. She didn't deserve Elliot. The one thing in her life that was good. He was the one thing worth while. And she knew that he needed her "You and this job are about the only things I have left". He needed her and she couldn't abandon him.

And what had she been ready to do the night before? The guilt overcame her. She had been selfish, she had wanted to escape from her life, escape from the pain. She had been ready to abandon Elliot. She pulled over as her vision was clouded by her tears. She could save him by leaving him. At least that's what she thought but the look on his face when he held her. The fear in his voice when he told her he couldn't leave. How could she cause him so much pain?

She quickly dried her tears and pulled back onto the road. She and Elliot had time. Thank God they had time. Thanks to a few lucky breaks, there was time to work through this. And she truly wanted to work through it, she wanted Elliot to be happy.

Maybe she wasn't paying as close attention as she should have. Maybe there was something in her subconscious mind that really wanted to die. Maybe the painted line down the middle of the street had faded beyond recognition, whatever the reason she pulled right into oncoming traffic just in time to be hit by a UPS delivery truck.

The windshield cracked, glass spraying everywhere as she was flung forward in her seat, her seatbelt slowing the impact that her head made against the roof of the car only slightly. The sound of metal screeching against metal and shattered glass filled her ears, the smell of gasoline and blood filled her nostrils, her vision blurred as she felt her grip on reality loosening.

They say that at times like this your entire life flashes before your eyes. For Olivia this held true. She saw her mother, flashes of her unhappy childhood, high school, college, the police academy. She saw her first partner from when she was a beat cop, the first dead body she had ever seen, Coming to SVU, Elliot. The happy memories of Elliot, his smile, his eyes and his voice all the things that made Elliot who he was, his protectiveness and his kind and caring nature.

The last memory that flashed in her head was Elliot's smiling face. She could have sworn that she still felt his lips on hers and his gentle hands tracing their random designs along her spine. The last thing she smelled wasn't the blood or the burning gasoline but the smell of Elliot, the scent that was so uniquely him. In her mouth she could still taste him, the way her tongue had slid so easily across his teeth. The last thing she remembered hearing wasn't the screams of the people outside as they shouted "Oh my God there's someone in there's someone in there" and "Oh heaven help her" but Elliot's strong yet gentle voice as he whispered "I love you".

"I love you too," she whispered as she slipped away "I don't want to leave you."

The paramedics pulled her bloody broken body from the wreckage soon after that and they wasted no time in rushing her to the hospital.

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Elliot sat on the couch in Olivia's apartment. He glanced up at the clock every couple of minutes. It was currently 12:10 and Elliot chastised himself for being so worried. She was a big girl and she could take care of herself as she had said to him on many occasions when his overprotective nature had gotten on her nerves "I'm not a civilian" that was true, she was perfectly capable of handling herself but in the coarse of his years at SVU he had learned that no one is invincible. The women whose broken and bloody bodies haunted his nightmares, women who were later described by their closest friends and family as strong and independent all these women in one way or another reminded him of Olivia and before he had even realized it the faces of the battered women in his nightmares became hers.

The feeling that he would never see her again just before she left still weighed heavy on his mind. The sharp pang of fear had initially shot through him like a bolt of white hot lightning, striking his heart and causing it to cease beating for what seemed like forever. His heart had only started to beat again after he had reached out and held her in his arms. As if she was his lifeline, his one true salvation and who knows, perhaps she was.

Olivia's land line began to ring. Elliot was half out of his seat, responding to a reflex which years on the job had taught him. He paused with his right hand poised just above the receiver, this wasn't his home, this wasn't his phone, the call wasn't for him. He let it ring, returning to his seat on the couch and listened as the answering machine picked up.

"This is Olivia," her clear voice began. Her home phone was for primarily non work related calls so she was free to be informal on the answering machine greeting "I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a message after the tone and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

Elliot leaned back and closed his eyes. He really didn't want to listen to a message that was meant for Olivia only. For a moment he considered plugging his ears with his fingers but all thoughts of doing such a childish thing went out the window when the person who had called began to leave their message.

"Olivia, its George," Elliot's heart skipped a beat. Why would Huang need to call Olivia if she was supposed to be at an appointment with him? The message just continued unaware of the mental anguish it was inflicting on Elliot "I decided to try your home phone because you aren't answering your cell phone."

Why wouldn't she be answering her cell phone? She always had it with her. Elliot was getting really worried. He reached for the phone. This time picking it up and answering it "Hello, George?"

There was a pause on the other end as George attempted to process the voice of the person who had answered and understand its presence at this number. Finally George responded "Elliot? Did I dial the wrong number?"

"No," Elliot reassured him then he turned quickly to the subject of Olivia "What do you mean she's not answering her cell phone? What's wrong?" the panic in his voice was evident by this point.

"So she's not there with you?" George asked, surprised "She never showed up for her appointment."

"What!" Elliot screamed into the phone as he shot up from the couch like a rocket "What do you mean she's not there! Where the hell is she!"

In his office, George Huang held the phone at arms length as Elliot's panicked and angry screams continued to come through. Simply repeating the same question "Where the hell is she?" with each recitation Elliot's voice became softer until George could once again hold the phone to his ear without fear of permanent hearing loss.

Elliot was sitting on the couch once more. His head was cradled by his non phone holding hand as he fought to regain control of himself. That same fear had now intensified and he felt his eyes begin to mist over. One last time he asked the question, only this time it was in a whisper so small and so choked back by tears that threatened to burst forth that George had to strain to hear "Where is she?"

George summand all the compassion he could, which wasn't easy after being so shaken by Elliot's sudden outburst. He finally composed himself and began to speak "I don't know Elliot," was the only answer that he could offer to the distraught man on the other end of the line.

"She wouldn't just not show up," Elliot attempted to rationalize the situation "She would have called one or both of us," his explanation only made him more nervous and more afraid for her safety "Where is she?" he asked again but this time he wasn't asking George, the question wasn't directed at anyone.

"I'm sure she's fine," George attempted to reassure Elliot.

Elliot's heart gave a painful twinge "She's not fine!" he shouted "If she was fine she'd be answering her phone! If she were fine she'd be at her appointment! If she were fine she would," the volume of his voice lowered considerably as a single tear escaped his eye " be here with me." Elliot tried to hide the small strangled sob but it forced its way through against his will "I know that something's happened," he continued in the same low tone "I can feel it, somehow I know that she's not ok."

"What should we do?" George asked. Although he was a trained FBI agent and used to dealing with missing people almost on a daily bases, he was more than willing to yield to Elliot on this one. She hadn't even been gone long enough to be considered missing. Although George liked to consider Olivia his friend, he knew that he was no where near as close to her as she was to Elliot. The ball was in Elliot's court on this one.

"I don't know," Elliot began but he was cut off by the ringing of his cell phone. Without even a word of explanation to George, he dropped Olivia's phone and reached for his. He looked at the number on the caller ID and his heart broke a little more. It wasn't Olivia's cell number in fact he didn't even recognize the number that flashed across his screen. He thought about just letting it go to voice mail but he answered it anyway. In his line of work he could never tell what calls might or might not be important. "Stabler," he answered in a less than enthusiastic tone.

"Detective Elliot Stabler?" an unfamiliar female voice asked.

"Yes," Elliot answered. He heard a lot of background noise over the phone, sounds he was familiar with but didn't seem to register with his brain at the moment.

"I'm calling because you are listed as next of kin for a Detective Benson," the woman informed Elliot.

The emotions ran through his body at light speed, the gears in his head turning so fast that he could barely keep up with his own thoughts. Fear and relief battled for supremacy in his mind and heart. The internal power struggle made it almost impossible to process any external stimuli. Finally he was able to speak once more "Where is she?" the hoarsely whispered question barely registered in his own ears as he waited for a response from the woman. To Elliot the milliseconds seemed like hours.

"I'm sorry Detective," the woman began and with those words Elliot felt that his world would collapse completely.

'Please don't let her be dead. Please don't let her be dead,' was the only thing that ran through his mind.

The woman's voice sounded in his ears once more. Although she was speaking softly and with compassion, she might as well have been screaming at the top of her lungs "There's been an accident."

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Elliot paced in the waiting area outside of surgery. The woman on the phone hadn't been able to tell him much of anything. Just that there had been an accident and to get to the hospital as soon as he could, aside from telling him where in the hospital to go and the name of Olivia's doctor that was all he knew.

An accident, what kind of accident? Had she been shot? Had she fallen? Or was it something worse? Endless possibilities swirled in his brain, each more horrific and terrifying than the last. He shouldn't have taken her gun. He shouldn't have hidden it in the kitchen drawer. If he had let her take it with her she might be safe now. The two of them would probably be back at her apartment, arguing over whether to order pizza or Chinese food. He smiled to himself as he thought of their arguments. It was hopeless because Olivia would always win and they would always get Chinese food.

He finally stopped pacing and collapsed into one of the uncomfortable chairs. If she didn't make it, what would he do? Getting a new partner was one thing; a thing he didn't want to do but nonetheless as long as he still had Olivia in his life he would be able to do it.

If she wasn't in his life then he truly had nothing. All that talk about it being her and the job being all he had left, it had all been a lie because it was only her. The job didn't provide him with friendship; in fact the job just left him empty inside. Olivia had filled that emptiness for longer then he could remember. It was a space that Kathy could never fill, a special place in his heart reserved just for Olivia. And if that space were to suddenly become hollow, devoid of her presence, Elliot was sure that he would disappear into the nothingness within.

Lost in his own self destructive thoughts, Elliot was unaware of the doctor that approached. Vaguely he sensed the presence of someone else but he made no effort to look up from the bland grey carpeting that he found himself staring at.

"Detective Stabler?" the doctor asked.

Elliot's ears took a moment to recognize that someone had just spoken to him. He looked up and his eyes fell on the doctor standing in front of him. Instantly he was drawn back into the world of the living "Yes," he answered, his voice making a sorry attempt to hide the anxiety he felt.

The doctor placed a hand on Elliot's shoulder "I'm Dr. Trent," he introduced himself "Has anyone filled you in?" he asked concerned as he took a seat in the chair next to Elliot.

"No," Elliot responded honestly "I was told there was an accident and to get down here. No one's told me anything else," as he was speaking he tried to read the doctor's expression. The doctor's face was full of compassion for Elliot but this gave him no clue as to Olivia's condition. He couldn't help the plea that fell from his lips next "Please can you tell me, is she alright?"

"She's still in surgery," the doctor informed him "The accident caused some pretty serious damage."

Billions of questions buzzed in Elliot's head like bees in a hive, so much chattering noise that not one could be distinguished from the whole. Trent was not the name that the woman had given him when he had talked to her. Olivia's doctor was named Field. He finally separated one question from the cacophony in his brain "What kind of accident?"

Doctor Trent sighed heavily and Elliot's heart sank even further than he thought humanly possible. Its never a good sign when the doctor sighs "She was in a car accident," the young doctor began explaining "A head on collision with a UPS delivery truck." Doctor Trent stopped his explanation there.

Elliot battled with himself to ask his next question. He needed to know but he was afraid of knowing. The question he was about to ask was one that he wanted a specific answer to and if he didn't get that answer, he would lose it. Finally he spoke, his voice quavering as he forced the words out despite his heart pleading with him not to speak them "Will she… will she… live?"

The doctor didn't say anything for a long time. Another bad sign "Detective Stabler-"

"Elliot," Elliot corrected quickly. For some reason he just couldn't be reminded of the job right now. He didn't want to be connected in anyway to the title of 'Detective first grade' he couldn't handle it. It only reminded him of how he had failed, how he had failed Olivia.

"Elliot," Doctor Trent began again "I'm not going to lie to you. Its touch and go. There's a lot of internal damage and she's lost a lot of blood. She-"

"Then what are you doing out here!" Elliot exploded, bursting out of his seat and lunging at Doctor Trent. The very surprised doctor eluded Elliot's grasp just barely. He opened his mouth and was about to say something but Elliot beat him to it "Why aren't you in there saving her life!" Elliot felt the strength leave his body and he stumbled back against a wall, not caring at all about the looks that he got from terrified nurses as they passed "I can't lose her," he continued in a softer voice as the tears came to his eyes and then fell down his face "I can't, I can't lose her."

All his life his father had told him to be a man and that real men didn't cry but right now Elliot didn't care that he was crying, he didn't care who saw him cry and even if he had cared he probably wouldn't have been able to stop himself.

Doctor Trent slowly and cautiously approached Elliot "There are four other surgeons in there. I was told that you were out here and no one had spoken to you yet."

Elliot slid back into a chair, his head in his hands "Sorry," he said flatly, not feeling anything at all except concern for the woman he loved.

Doctor Trent once more placed a sympathetic hand on Elliot's shoulder "The hospital has a chapel down at the end of the hallway," he kindly informed the broken man who sat in front of him. He was about to say something else when his beeper went off. He pulled it out of the pocket of his white coat and looked at it. Elliot watched as the expression on the doctor's face turned into one of near panic "Excuse me," he hurriedly excused himself and headed back in the direction he had come from.

Elliot rose shakily from his seat and made his way almost reluctantly to the chapel. The small room was empty and Elliot took a seat. He looked up at the ceiling with eyes that saw the tiles but didn't care that they were there. He found himself speaking out loud.

"Hi God," he began, wondering when the last time was that he had prayed in his own words instead of just the occasional 'Our Father' or 'Hale Mary'. It had been the night that Kathy had taken the kids. He had asked God for the strength to make it through. He had thought for the longest time that God had ignored that prayer until recently.

God works in mysterious ways and Elliot wondered if God had given him the strength but indirectly. Was Olivia the strength that God had sent him? Elliot had truly begun to believe that. He continued with his free style prayer "I know its been a while but I don't think I can get through this," he found himself choking back a sob in an effort to continue "I can't lose Olivia," he had finally reached the reason for his presence in the chapel "Please don't take her Lord? I can't go on without her. I know I can't. Please let her pull through," another sob made its way through his lips "Because I… I don't know what I'd do without her," he broke down, crying unchecked with only God to see him, only God to judge his perceived weakness.

When the sobs had finally subsided and Elliot felt like all that he was had passed through his eyes, he shifted in his seat, making a half hearted effort to get up. He finally rose and left the chapel. He walked back to the waiting room and returned to the very seat he had been sitting in and continued his vigil.

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Four hours later, two doctors stood in the hallway between surgery and the waiting area.

"I can't face him again," one said to the other, gesturing towards the waiting area.

"You've talked to him before," the other one, a young woman shot back "You know how he'll react," she timidly motioned in the same direction that the other doctor had.

"You are her primary doctor," the first responded. He took a step closer to the woman "I know you're scared to do this but you've been doing this job for five years now, you know how to talk to the patient's families."

She looked up at him "It just never gets any easier," she whispered "The look in their eyes… you never forget something like that."

The male doctor took her face in his hands and placed a gentle kiss to her lips "Just think of the look in his eyes when you tell him she's alive," he whispered as they parted.

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Elliot looked up this time when he heard someone enter. He saw the female doctor who approached. She looked about Olivia's age, maybe a year or two younger. She walked over to him and sat down beside him and he knew. He knew that what this woman was about to say would either save him or destroy him. Before she could even open her mouth he grabbed her hand and before he knew it, the plea had escaped his lips, the question he desperately wanted an affirmative answer to "Is she alive?"

The woman was so shocked by Elliot grabbing her that at first all she could do was stare at him. Finally she was able to understand what he had just asked her and she nodded "Yes, yes she's alive." Her explanation came out not in the way that she would have normally phrased it and she hurriedly tried to redeem her professionalism "She's out of surgery. She's still unconscious but she'll pull through," she stopped and looked at the man in front of her. He was nodding attentively. She continued "The accident left her with a lot of broken bones and a lacerated liver. She'll recover but it will be a long, painful recovery."

"She's alive," Elliot whispered aloud, half to himself again not caring that anyone else heard. He gazed upward "Thank you God," more honest thanks had never been given heavenward by Elliot Stabler in his life. Then he turned back to the doctor "Can I see her, please?"

"Of course," she said, standing up "follow me," she began to walk away then turned back to Elliot "I'm Dr. Aaron Field by the way, I'm her doctor."

Elliot allowed himself a releaved chuckle at the realization that he hadn't given the woman time to introduce herself "I'm Elliot Stabler," he extended his hand grabbing Doctor Field's hand once more only this time in friendly greeting instead of wild desperation.

Doctor Field nodded and smiled at him before turning and leading him through the corridors of the hospital to Olivia's room.

On the way they past other rooms, some with open doors. Elliot found himself peering into these open rooms with strange fascination. Most rooms contained occupants who were propped up in their hospital beds, flipping through hospital TV. When they neared Olivia's room they passed a room with a motionless figure lying flat on a bed. Nurses were removing the tubes and machines that would no longer do the person any good. Out of respect, the bed sheet was pulled over the face of the unknown patient.

Elliot felt his stomach to a somersault. How close had he come today to seeing Olivia that way? Cold, motionless and the spark that made her who she was extinguished forever, he shuddered at the thought.

They reached Olivia's room and Doctor Field motioned Elliot through the door "It's a private room," she informed him "So you don't have to leave when visiting hours are over. Nurses will be in from time to time to check her vital signs. I'll be in before the shift change."

Elliot nodded and smiled gratefully at her. Before she left he called to her one last time "When should she wake up?" he asked.

Doctor Field turned back "It depends," she answered honestly "It could be in a few minutes, it could be another few hours."

"Thank you," Elliot said before turning and heading into the room.

She lay amongst hospital issue sheets, her head propped on a hospital issue pillow. Her left arm was in a cast and in her right arms was the IV needle. A monitor beeped steadily beside her bed, showing the blood pressure, heart rate and respiration. Elliot took a seat on the right side of her bed. He took the hand of her unbroken arm in his, careful not to disturb the IV tube.

For the longest time he basked in the luxury of watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest. He stroked her hand lovingly as he began to speak softly to her "Hey Liv," he stopped and just looked at her face. He was overpowered with the urge to lean over and kiss her.

Carefully he leaned down he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers. 'I love you so much,' he thought as he was doing so.

Suddenly he felt a small movement beneath his lips as Olivia's lips parted and her tongue slowly grazed his lips. Elliot's eyes popped open instantly to find Olivia's eyes staring right back at him. He had never seen anything so beautiful as her eyes at that moment "You're awake," happily he pulled back from her and returned to holding her hand.

"Mmm," she moaned "Can I always wake up that way?" she asked. It was at that moment that Olivia came into consciousness enough that she could feel the pain that seemed to hang over her body in a constant sheet of anguish. She took in a sharp breath as she shut her eyes tight.

"Its okay sweetie," Elliot pressed a gentle kiss to her hand as he held it "There was an accident," he explained.

Olivia remembered the events leading up to the accident quite well "Oh," a small gasp escaped her lips.

"Its alright," Elliot soothed "It'll be alright."

"I'm sorry Elliot," she whispered softly.

"Liv," he broke in quickly "what for?"

"I…" she couldn't say it "last night… I wanted… just to make it end."

"Olivia," he now held her hand in both of his, gazing lovingly at her as she continued speaking.

"I love you," she told him "and I'm so sorry I ever thought of leaving you. Please don't hate me for it."

He saw tears forming in her eyes "Liv," he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it again "I will absolutely always love you. I'm just glad that you're alright."

Olivia smiled at him "Thank you," she groaned again.

"Are you alright?" Elliot asked "I'll call the nurse," his hand was on the call button when she stopped him.

"No," she protested "I'm fine," it was obvious by the way that she said it that she wasn't fine.

Elliot could tell that she was in a lot of pain "Let me ask them if you can have something for the pain," he reached for the call button again.

"No," she said again and Elliot saw the desperation in her eyes "I can't," she told him simply.

His hand remained paused over the call button "Liv, you're in pain," concerned he reached out and touched her cheek. Her face was covered with scrapes but Elliot didn't shy away from it at all "Let them help you Olivia?" he nearly begged her.

"No," Olivia protested yet again. She didn't know how to tell him but she was afraid of becoming addicted to the pain meds. Addiction seemed to run in her family and she didn't want to risk it. She had seen the end results of people's dependence on various substances and she didn't want to end up like that. Especially if it meant hurting the people closest to her and she knew that she would.

"Liv, please," Elliot was really worried as he gently ran his hand down her cheek.

"Elliot," she began, opening her eyes and meeting his gaze directly "Please… I'm fine."

"Olivia," Elliot began again.

"No, Elliot," she stopped him before he could say anything else "I'm fine!" she lifter her head off the pillow with that shout and she fell back with another gasp.

"Olivia, please," when she looked at him this time he had tears in his eyes.

"I'm afraid, Elliot," she finally whispered.

TBC

A/N: The first chapter of this story got the most reviews of any chapter of any story that I'd ever posted. So at first I was afraid to write another chapter in case I didn't get as many reviews. I knew it was a silly thing to be afraid of but I think I've been able to face it. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review.


	3. Chapter 3: Wounded Bird

**Wounded Bird**

She stood slowly, the voices in her ears pounding, assaulting her brain. This couldn't be happening. All she could see was the gun, the gun pointed at Elliot's head. Gitano spoke to her as she tried to hold her gun. In her heart she knew that nothing could make her pull that trigger, nothing could make her responsible for Elliot's death.

They were both talking to her now and both voices only served to make her stomach clench more violently. She did the only thing she could do, commanding the only person who she knew would listen to her to be silent "Shut up Elliot," her voice wasn't even her own in that moment. Never before in her life had she been this nervous, this afraid. She turned her attention to Gitano; she was ready to do anything if he would just let Elliot go "Put the gun down," she tried to tell him without the nervousness showing. She failed and he saw right through her.

"Oh, I see," Gitano sized her up in one glance. He had this woman right were he wanted her. As long as he kept the gun to the man's head both were at his mercy. Victor Gitano knew better than anyone else that he was incapable of mercy "Do you love this man?" he asked, his voice dripping with evil.

Olivia could swear she felt her heart, which had long since stopped beating, give a small twinge reaffirming that life still resided in the body that surrounded it. She wouldn't answer the question; it would only give Gitano more leverage against her. Then again Gitano held all the cards here anyway. Still she remained silent, ignoring the look that appeared on Elliot's face; ignoring the furious mouthing of the words 'shoot him damn it'.

"Answer the question bitch," Gitano forced the gun flush against Elliot's temple and cocked the hammer.

"I won't answer your question you sick bastard," Olivia spoke slowly, evenly in a low voice that she could barely hear herself.

Gitano glared at her "Too bad," he pulled the trigger. In an instant Elliot fell to the ground, the blood spurted from the hole in the side of his head. He was gone before he even hit the ground.

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She sat up shrieking in the hospital bed. The pain meant nothing to her at that moment; the beeping of the heart monitor that warned the doctors and nurses that something was wrong didn't register in her brain. 'He's dead! He's dead!' was all she could think as her own screams filled her ears. He was dead, his blood would forever be on her hands and she never got the chance to tell him how she felt. She should have answered the question, if she had maybe she could have stalled Gitano; maybe she could have saved Elliot. But now he was dead and she never got to tell him that she loved him. Her screams became actual words "I'm so sorry!" she repeated as she sobbed, unaware of the strong arms that enveloped her.

He was careful as he tried not to hurt her but at the same time tried to keep her from hurting herself. He knew that if she was going to heal properly, she couldn't move around like this. She had finally taken some Tylenol for the pain and although it had done her little good, it had allowed her to fall asleep. He had sat by her the whole time, wanting nothing more than to be able to hold her but now that he was he would do anything just to let her have that peaceful sleep once more.

She sobbed into his neck, still unaware of who he was and where she was. He stroked her hair lovingly as she did so "Shhh its ok," he soothed her. The heart monitor began to register a safe level once more and the nurse and doctor who had rushed into the room left the two alone.

She slowly became aware of her surroundings. The hospital and why she was there, the memories all came flooding back to her "Elliot," she whispered.

"Its ok," he told her "It was just a nightmare," he could see the fear that still swam in her eyes, just behind the tears that were still falling. He slowly lay her down on the bed but he didn't want to let her go. She shifted to one side, allowing him room to lay on his side facing her as he held her.

"Gitano," she whispered. The nightmare was still fresh in her mind; she wished that it wasn't. She didn't want to fall asleep again ever.

Elliot found himself terrified at the mention of the name. He stroked her bruised cheek gently "It's over now Liv, it's over."

She needed to get it out. She knew she needed to let him know. It had been too late and she didn't want it to be. She took a deep shuttering breath "I love you," she whispered.

He dropped a kiss gently to the top of her head, careful not to hurt her "I love you too," he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what happened in the nightmare but he knew that it would do her good to talk about it. He kept his silence though and waited for her to speak about it.

"The warehouse," she mumbled. She wished she could stop crying but she couldn't control tears "He…" she began "There was so much…" she found herself choking on the words "And you were… and I never…"

Elliot fought the urge to pull her into the tightest embrace possible; he didn't want to aggravate her injuries. He restrained himself to another gentle kiss and a soft squeeze of her hand. He understood the nightmare even if she hadn't explained it all "I'm here," he told her "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

"I never got the chance," she whispered "You were… and I couldn't tell you," she left out that in her nightmare Gitano had asked her if she loved Elliot before he had pulled the trigger.

"I'm here," Elliot repeated "Gitano is dead," he reassured her. In his heart he knew that although the man may have been dead, the memory was still very much alive. The memory of the man, the memories of what he had done would haunt them both.

She rested her head against his chest "I do love you," she whispered "I just wanted to let you know that in case…" she trailed off.

"Nothing's gonna happen," he told her firmly. He knew that what ever came his way in life, he would be able to face it with her by his side; he knew that he would always fight, knowing he had her to come back to.

"You can't promise that," she murmured, her words coated with exhaustion.

"Try and get some more sleep," he whispered gently to her as he tried to leave the bed.

She whimpered slightly "Stay with me?" she pleaded softly.

"I'm not going anywhere," he reassured her as he sat up.

"No," she elaborated "I mean, stay here," with her good hand she patted the place where he had been lying only seconds before.

Elliot nodded and lay down beside her once more "Sleep well," he told her with a gentle kiss placed on her lips.

She leaned her head against his chest, the beating of his heart a soothing lullaby as she drifted into a peaceful slumber. Just before she had truly fallen completely asleep, she reached her good hand up and caressed his cheek ever so softly "I love you," she murmured.

He bent to look at her sleeping soundly beside him. Her face although still bruised registered nothing but the most peaceful of expressions. He knew that he was truly blessed to have this woman in his life. Over the past two days he had come too close to losing her more than once. He knew he could never let that happen again "I love you too," he whispered, brushing a few strands of hair back from her forehead. They were still sticky with the cold sweat of the earlier nightmare. He leaned in and placed a lingering kiss on her mouth "More than you'll ever know."

He watched her sleep, not daring to take his eyes off of her in case she vanished into thin air. He didn't dare go to sleep himself; he wanted to be awake in case something happened. The sun rose and peeked in through the hospital window, falling across her face and giving it that angelic glow once more. He thought though that perhaps that glow was always there. She was after all his angel. Olivia Benson, his perfect angel.

She felt the light dancing across her face and was slowly drawn back into consciousness by it. Her eyelids fluttered once, twice. Her vision slowly focused on the objects that surrounded her. The IVs, the monitors, the large window that took up one whole wall of the room with the counter below it with various things scattered haphazardly across it. Finally her gaze met Elliot's "Good morning," she whispered in a voice still thick with sleep.

He smiled at her "Good morning to you too," he gave her a small peck on the cheek "How are you feeling?" he ran a concerned hand gently down the side of her face.

"In a lot of pain," she admitted "but its not so bad," she tried to dismiss his concern.

He smiled to himself when he recognized a hint of the old Olivia in her tone. But the fact still remained that she was in pain "I'll go ask the nurse if you can have some more Tylenol," he told her as he got up from the bed.

"Okay," she agreed reluctantly. She watched him leave the room. As much as she hated to admit it, the nightmare was still in her head and she couldn't help worrying. She told herself that her fears were completely irrational but still the image in her head of Elliot, the blood flowing from the side of his head in a river of red loss. She couldn't get that image to leave her mind.

A nurse entered the room with a glass in one hand and two Tylenol pills in the other "Good morning," she greeted cheerfully, as she handed the pills and glass to Olivia.

Olivia took the pills in her hand first while the nurse set the glass on the table beside her bed. Olivia popped the pills into her mouth and the nurse gave her the glass of water. She swallowed quickly. It was then that she realized that Elliot still hadn't returned "Excuse me," she said to the nurse just as the other woman was turning to leave.

"Yes?" the nurse asked turning back around.

"Have you seen the man who was in here with me?" Olivia asked. She tried not to be nervous. She knew it was foolish to be worrying about him. It was silly she told herself but that didn't stop her from being concerned.

"Oh," the nurse began "He had a call he had to take," with that she turned and left.

Olivia sighed in relief. She had been so worried. Now a new worry crossed her mind; who was on the phone? Was it Cragen? How much of what had happened would Elliot tell him? She wasn't in the mood for a whole bunch of visitors and she knew that's what she would get because once Elliot told Cragen, everyone would know.

She lay in bed a little while longer before she heard the sound of the door opening and quietly closing. She lifted her head ever so slightly to see Elliot. He approached the bed and sat in the chair beside it. He took her good hand into his and just held it, not saying anything for the longest time. He was silent, too silent for Olivia's liking but she knew he wouldn't speak about it unless asked. It was up to her to make the first move but it was up to him to answer or not. She remembered how many times in the past year and a half he had pushed her away. She didn't want him to push her away but she knew that she could pull back just as hard. She opened her mouth "Who was on the phone?"

He looked into her eyes trying to make her believe what he was about to say "No one important," he told her. He knew how she would react if he told her that it was Kathy. He knew how she would react when she figured out that he had asked her to keep the kids this weekend. He knew that she would figure it all out on her own when she realized that it was Saturday. He didn't want to hear her profuse apologies for something that wasn't her fault. He truly could sacrifice this one weekend to stay by her side. She needed him, she didn't have to tell him that she did but he knew it. There would be other weekends with his children. His children would not be alone this weekend; they had Kathy. Olivia had no one.

She could tell instantly that he wasn't being entirely truthful with her "Elliot-" she began.

"No Olivia," he cut her off. He gently stroked the back of her hand "It wasn't important. Don't worry about it."

She shook her head "Was it work?" she asked.

"It was nothing Liv," he told her soothingly as he leaned forward "Just forget it please."

She refused to forget it. Whatever it was it was affecting Elliot on a deeper level than he realized. She wanted to help him but he needed to let her in. If it took her forever to climb the walls of his fortress and rescue him from his inner demons she would. "Who was it Elliot?" she asked again softly in a tone that expressed only love in its softness.

"Olivia," he spoke the words in a half groan "It isn't important."

"If it wasn't important," she countered, her patience with him not wavering even for a millisecond "Than why are you so unsettled?"

He groaned inwardly. This woman knew him too well; maybe that was one of the things he loved so much about her. Even after twenty years of marriage, Kathy didn't seem to know him at all but Olivia could read him like a book. It had been like that since the day they met. "I love you," he told her.

"You're avoiding the question," she informed him. Her voice held only the slightest sternness and tinge of agitation.

He sighed in resignation and gave a sad smile "You are persistent," he told her. He found himself no longer able to meet her gaze and he stared out the window. His eyes scanned the tops of buildings, the reddish brown bricks of Manhattan buildings. Two pidgins flew by, one landed on the ledge outside the window while the other continued to fly past. The pidgin on the ledge held one of its wings at a crooked angle and Elliot knew that the bird was injured. He was just beginning to wonder why its companion had abandoned it when the second pidgin doubled back and alighted on the ledge next to its mate. The second pidgin managed to help the first off the ledge and the two flew clumsily but safely away together.

His focus shifted gradually back to Olivia. He knew he had to tell her the truth; she wouldn't let him get away with anything less than that "It was Kathy," he told her softly.

The realization showed on her face as she remembered what day of the week it was "I'm sorry," she whispered.

He sighed, she had reacted exactly the way he had known she would; apologizing for what she couldn't control and was not responsible for in the first place "Don't be," he told her, knowing that his words meant nothing now. She would blame herself for this now, no matter what he told her.

"Your kids," she looked away as the words fell from her lips.

"Hey," he called softly to her, pleading with her to look at him again "I'll have plenty of time to spend with them some other weekend." He wanted her to hear him; he spoke to her mind body and soul, telling her that it wasn't her fault.

"But Elliot," she still insisted on sacrificing for him "You should go spend the day with your kids. I'll be fine. Go."

He brought her hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to it "Listen to me," he said in a voice that while still gentle, commanded her attention "There is no one I would rather spend the day with today than you."

His words brought a thin film of moisture to her eyes. For once in her life she accepted that someone cared for her and inside, a small part of herself, a part that had been wounded long before the accident began to heal. "Thank you," she whispered as she squeezed his hand gently.

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He stepped out of the car, pushing his sun glasses up on his nose as he did so. He walked with his partner to where the homicide detectives stood. The events of the past week weighed heavy on his mind. He had nearly lost two people that he considered family. He wished he had been there with the rest of them at the bus station instead of being outside in case Gitano tried to run, a precaution that in the and had done no good.

"Detective Munch," one of the homicide detectives who knew him called out to him.

John walked up to the man and shook his outstretched hand "Jerry, it's been a while." He turned to Fin "This is Jerry Dobbs," he introduced before turning back to Jerry "This is my partner Detective Tutuola."

"Nice to meet you," Jerry said as he shook Fin's hand.

"Yeah same here," Fin muttered in an attempt to be polite. He really just wanted to know what the case was; he had little time for pleasantries.

"We have to stop meeting like this John," Jerry said half jokingly as the three men ducked under the crime scene tape.

The smell of blood assaulted John's nostrils as he nodded politely at Jerry's statement. They approached the body which was already covered with a white sheet. Techs swarmed the area, dusting for prints and collecting evidence. John noticed Melinda Warner kneeling beside the body.

She looked up as they approached "Detectives," she said somberly "This is just too familiar."

"What do you mean?" John asked as Melinda stood up to face him.

Melinda took a deep breath "The victim's throat was slit with a knife that had a gut hook."

"A gut hook," John and Fin said at the same time in a moment that would have been comical if it weren't for the realization that they had both come to. Gitano had used a knife with a gut hook.

"We also found this," a tech handed Fin a plastic evidence bag. Inside the bag was a business card. Fin could read the print on the card easily in the bright morning light 'Detective Elliot Stabler'.

"Do we have an ID on the vic?" John asked the group of people who stood around him.

"Glen Portney," a tech holding an evidence bag that contained a wallet answered.

The name resonated in Fin's head and he tried to remember where he had heard it before "Can I see the body?" he asked Melinda. She obligingly pulled back the sheet to reveal the face of the dead man and instantly Fin was overcome with panic "Was there any sign of a little girl!" he shouted to the officers in the area. When everyone only answered his question with matching looks of puzzlement he began to make his own inspection of the area.

John followed his partner, knowing full well that Glen Portney was Ryan and Rebecca Clifford's biological father and that Rebecca was supposedly in his custody as of yesterday. That little girl had been through hell already, John shuttered to think what could have happened.

A small whimper from behind a dumpster caught John's ear as he passed by. He bent down and saw a small figure huddled against the wall, knees hugged against chest and shoulders shaking. "Rebecca," he called softly as he reached a hand towards her. The child looked up at John with frightened eyes but she inched closer to him anyway. He carefully picked her up and held her close to him "Its alright sweetie," he told her as he walked back to where the others stood.

For Rebecca Clifford, this was the second time in the past few days that a detective had told her that it was 'gonna be okay' and the little girl didn't believe it anymore.

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"The gut hook was a detail we held back from the press," Captain Donald Cragen pinned photos of the crime scene on the evidence board in the SVU squad room "This person has to have intimate knowledge of the way Gitano operated."

"I'll look through the taped sessions again," George Huang appeared beside the detectives and spoke up "But I don't think it'll tell us anything."

"What about his shrink," John mused aloud "Dr. Greenfield, would she know of anyone close to Gitano?"

"When we spoke," George began "She didn't mention anything. Besides, Gitano was such a devious liar that we may never know if we go on what he's said alone."

"That's just great," Cragen slammed his hand down on the nearest flat surface "We have a traumatized little girl and now another mad man on the loose and who knows what kind of damage this one will do," Cragen had come too close to loosing two very good detectives, too people he considered family. If this associate of Gitano's had gone after Portney who knew what he was up to. "Where's Rebecca now?" he asked.

"Upstairs," George answered "She's sleeping now. I'm gonna try and talk to her when she wakes up."

"Why would he kill Portney?" Fin asked.

Realization struck George "Portney wasn't the target, Rebecca was."

"What are you trying to say?" Fin asked, confused.

"He's finishing what Gitano started," George explained. He suddenly realized something "Oh my God," he ran back to his office without a word of explanation.

"What was that about?" Fin asked.

"Who knows with him?" John said turning to the evidence board "Where should we start?"

"You two interview the people who live in the neighborhood where Portney's body was found," Cragen told them decisively. He turned towards his office but turned back just as quickly "Has anyone heard anything from Elliot or Olivia today?"

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"Oh not now," Elliot's cell phone interrupted the peaceful silence that had developed between the two of them. He glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was Huang. He groaned, remembering that he had neglected to tell George that Olivia was alright. He flipped the phone open as Olivia listened with interest from the bed "Stabler," he answered.

"Elliot," George sounded out of breath and frantic "Is Olivia with you?"

"Yes she is," Elliot answered and began to explain "She was in a car accident and we're at the hospital-" he would have said more but George interrupted him.

"What kind of accident?"

"A collision with a UPS truck," Elliot told him. His voice dropped to a whisper in an effort to keep Olivia from hearing what he had to say next and he turned burring his face in his jacket in as he stood up and started to walk out of the room.

"Elliot," she called after him when she saw him leaving. She had a right to hear what ever he had to say about the accident.

Elliot ignored her and stepped into the hall outside Olivia's hospital room "They're still looking for the driver. He's charged with leaving the scene of an accident."

"Glen Portney's dead," George blurted out the reason for his call without even easing into the subject.

"What!" Elliot nearly dropped his phone. He finally managed to compose himself enough to ask "Where's Rebecca?"

"She's at the station house; she's fine." George began "It's a long story but it's likely that you and Olivia are in danger."

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Dr. Melinda Warner finished the autopsy of Glen Portney's body. There was no question that the same knife that had been used in the Clifford murders was the one used to slit Portney's throat or at least the knife was of the same size and weight. That would have to be the answer; there was no way it could be the exact same knife. Gitano's knife was still with his personal effects waiting to be claimed by next of kin which hadn't been located as of yet.

She took off her gloves and washed her hands, all the time unable to get rid of the notion that tugged at the back of her mind. She walked to the room where the personal effects were stored and opened the appropriate drawer. Taking the corresponding list from the clipboard that sat on the desk in the middle of the room she checked off the items in her head. She came up one item short. Quickly she ran to the phone and called Captain Cragen.

"Special Victims Unit," the captain's voice came over the other end of the phone.

"Don it's Melinda," she began, her voice shaking slightly "We have a problem.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4: Have Faith

**Have Faith**

Elliot looked back into the hospital room. He saw Olivia lying in the bed and knew that she was listening intently, trying to hear anything that he might say. He knew that he would have to tell her about all of this eventually but he wanted to put it off as long as possible. She had a long recovery ahead because of the injuries that the accident had caused and there was and would always be that inner pain that they both shared, the pain that Gitano had caused them. Still it had almost seemed like at long last the pieces were starting to fall into place. Now the pieces would be scattered to the winds once more and who knew how long it would take before they would come together again.

He had long since hung up from the phone call with George. Now he stood just to the right of the open door to Olivia's room. He leaned against the wall, sighing heavily, knowing that the second he walked in she would ask him about the call and the conversation would begin. It would start off slowly. The question of who it was simple enough to answer. He could probably draw out a little small talk about how he was an idiot about not telling George about the accident before and how he had only minutes ago remembered that he had left the phone off the hook in Olivia's apartment. That topic might by him a few minutes before he had to shatter the shaky platform that was holding them up.

George had called in a favor from a couple of FBI buddies of his. Elliot knew that Olivia would never go for it if she knew; they had after all been down this road before, several times. He had to tell her though, it would sting less if he told her now than if she found out on her own later. George had assured him that the agents could shadow them without being noticed but still he had to tell her.

He took a deep breath; he knew that he couldn't stand in the hallway forever. He pushed off from the wall and turned to the door of the room. He took a tentative step inside and smiled gently "Hey," he whispered.

"You don't need to whisper," she told him "I'm awake, I have been awake for awhile, you know?" her tone spoke volumes I-know-you're-hiding-something-and-you'd-better-tell-me.

"I know," he told her, taking his seat beside her bed once again and without thinking about it, clasping her good hand in both of his.

She could tell by the way he held her hand that something had changed in the last twenty minutes. The earth had been shaken beneath his feet and he was trying to keep her standing strong on solid ground that would disappear if she knew what he knew. She knew this but she didn't care, if he was falling she wanted to fall with him. "Tell me," she spoke softly, compassionately. She lifted her head to look at him.

He saw it in her eyes, the desire to follow him anywhere, even into despair and heartache as long as they could share the pain. He read it in her face that she would stand beside him no matter what. This news though would still destroy her as it had him but what else could he do? If he didn't tell her she might take it as him not trusting her and he absolutely didn't want her to think that. One deep shaky breath and the truth fell from his lips to hang between them "Glen Portney was murdered," no beating around the bush, she would have called him on any attempt.

And in a flash she had shot up in bed "Rebecca," she murmured through the pain that she caused herself to experience do to the sudden movement.

He sprang from his chair instantly, gently easing her back down and soothing her "She's fine, she's at the station house."

"That poor girl," Olivia whispered half to herself. First her mother, stepfather and older sister were murdered by Gitano and then she had lost her brother. Now her father, the only non incarcerated member of her family that was still around had been murdered. Olivia felt responsible for this. If she had been able to put her feelings for Elliot aside then maybe somehow that child would still have a family.

"They're gonna put her in foster care," Elliot informed her "and Cragen's getting her a protective detail," he was almost glad that this topic kept them from talking about where they fit into all of this.

"Protective detail," Olivia latched on to those two words "She's in danger?" a detail ordered on a seven year old girl was big.

"She witnessed her father's murder," Elliot explained.

Olivia understood, they needed to keep Rebecca in town to ID the guy if they caught him. That meant that there was still hope of catching him. Olivia felt a ray of hope but she caught a glint of something in Elliot's eyes "There's something else," she stated simply.

"Yeah," he whispered softly. He would do anything at this moment to make all of this go away. If only he could make the whole world disappear save him and Olivia. There would be no victims, no perps, just the two of them happily ever after. But this wasn't going to go away. He took a deep breath "Rebecca isn't the only one getting a protective detail," he said softly.

"What?" she nearly shot out of bed again but he was quick this time to keep her in place. She remembered her situation and calmed instantly at least in body "I do not need a babysitter."

She was angry and he understood her anger. She was a proud woman. He tried to put her fears to rest "We'll both be having babysitters."

Her eyes widened. She had assumed that she would be the only one with a detail. She had assumed that Elliot would have been the one to get the detail. It wouldn't have been the first time; he was always trying to protect her. It hadn't crossed her mind that they could both be in danger. She felt so… this level of guilt didn't even have a name "What?" was all she could manage.

"The knife used to kill Portney…" Elliot began but found his voice catching in his throat. How could he tell her that someone had decided to finish Gitano's job and was using Gitano's MO? Thankfully his cell phone rang again, providing him an excuse to delay the inevitable.

He started to rise in order to leave the room again but Olivia's hand firmly grasped his forearm, holding him in place "Not this time," she whispered. She wasn't going to let him get away with trying to hide something from her again.

He nodded in silent agreement before flipping his phone open "Stabler."

"Elliot," Cragen's voice was frantic "I have some new information about our guy. Where are you?"

"I'm at the hospital with Olivia," Elliot answered.

"Good stay there," Cragen commanded. His voice was rushed and full of apprehension. He had to break what might possibly be the most disturbing news yet and although he didn't want to do it over the phone, he had his job to do and it was safer for Elliot to have Olivia's back especially when she was in such a weakened state; George had filled him in about the car accident. He took a deep breath as he prepared to drop the proverbial bomb "The knife used to kill Portney was-"

Elliot cut him off "Yeah, I know Cap. The knife had a gut hook just like the one Gitano used."

"No, no," Cragen tried to make the other man understand "It wasn't just like Gitano's knife. It was Gitano's knife."

"Excuse me?" Elliot was sure he had misheard the captain. There had to be some mistake. He ignored Olivia's hard stare from the bed as she patiently tried to hear the other side of the conversation. He would have to tell her all of this soon enough; he could clearly see her studying his reactions to what Cragen said and he knew that she would call him on any attempt at deception that he might make, for now he was hoping that he had heard wrong.

"Whoever killed Portney," Cragen began, his voice slow almost as if he had to make it clear to himself as well as Elliot "The perp snuck into the morgue and stole the knife that Gitano used in the Clifford murders."

"H… How," Elliot felt the breath leave his body and fought to retrieve oxygen.

Olivia could no longer be patient. She saw Elliot gasp at whatever news that Cragen had relayed to him. Her good hand came up and stroked his cheek comfortingly, taking note of the stubble that had become more prominent in the past day or so "What is it?" her voice gently prompted as her eyes searched his face, taking note of the tension and dare she say, the fear.

He turned his attention from the phone call and looked at her. He couldn't bare to lose her and he was afraid that that was what could happen. He needed to tell her but he just couldn't find the words. Instead he reached his non phone holding hand up to where her hand rested on his cheek and gave it a gentle, reassuring, loving squeeze "I love you," he whispered, knowing that this was not what she wanted to hear at the moment and yet he felt like it was the only thing he could say. He wanted to say it as many times as he possibly could. He had only been as afraid as he was now once before, in the bus station. He turned back to the phone call; Cragen was speaking again.

"We don't know yet," Cragen was saying "Munch and Fin are interviewing possible witnesses now."

"Okay, thanks Cap," Elliot was grateful to know what they were dealing with but somehow more unsettled than he had been only ten minutes ago. Someone taking the time and the risk to obtain Gitano's knife was personally connected to Gitano himself. Perhaps even more frightening than that was that this person had knowledge of Gitano's victims. Rebecca being in the custody of Glen Portney wasn't a detail released to the media; that knowledge would have had to come from Gitano himself.

"Be careful Elliot," Cragen gave a cautionary farewell "You two watch out for each other. I'll call you if anything else comes up," with that, Cragen hung up the phone.

Elliot heard the click on the other end of the line and flipped his phone closed. There was no avoiding it now. He had to tell Olivia about this new development. He sat in silence for a minute, just looking at her; taking note of the worry in her face, the concern for him that she possessed. He wasn't worthy of this woman. He knew that he would lay down his life for her if it came to that and it seemed more likely that it would come to that "I love you," he whispered again.

"I know," he was stalling and she knew it but she responded to him with nothing but understanding and love in her tone. What ever it was that Cragen had informed him of, she knew it had to be big to have gotten the reaction that it had gotten out of him. Still, she needed to know "Please tell me?" she asked of him as her fingers interlaced with his.

"Its…" he began but words were failing him "The knife… used to kill Portney… it was…" he fell silent.

"Yeah?" she prompted, her own heart jumping into her throat making it hard for her to get that one syllable out. Elliot's inability to tell her only made her more nervous.

"It was…" Elliot began again "Gitano's knife."

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"I didn't really see anyone all day yesterday," Melanie Brattle told John Munch as he stood in front of her, taking notes as she spoke "I mean I don't remember seeing anyone who wasn't supposed to be here," she paused and scrunched up her face in deep concentration "accept…"

"Accept?" Munch picked up on that word and clung to it. That one word could turn into a lead and he desperately wanted it to.

"There was this guy…" Melanie sounded unsure at first "He came to deliver a package, I think."

"What sort of package?" Munch asked.

Melanie scratched her head "I'm not exactly sure. He had a box in his hands when I saw him. I asked him what he was doing and he said that he had to deliver a very important package but he couldn't tell me what it was or for whom. I didn't think much of it at the time," she looked away "I wish I had."

Munch quickly tried to reassure her "You couldn't have known," when she turned back to him and smiled faintly, he returned to the interview "Do you remember what he looked like or what he was wearing?"

Melanie tucked a piece of her straight shoulder length blonde hair behind her ear before answering "He kind of looked like that guy on the news. You know, the one that killed those people."

While that description was incredibly vague, it was enough to send a chill down Munch's spine "Do you remember what he was wearing?" he asked.

"A UPS uniform," Melanie answered without hesitation.

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"Got the license plate number," Fin proclaimed triumphantly as he and Munch left the morgue after finishing up the interviews with all potential witnesses.

"Let's hope it does us some good," Munch replied dryly. The two detectives walked to the car in silence. They both knew that if they didn't find this guy soon, two of their friends would be in danger.

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"We'll make it through this," Olivia reassured Elliot "We've been through worse and we've always come out on top."

He smiled at her half heartedly. Nothing that they had been through together was worse than Gitano and now someone was out there finishing what he started. That qualified as the worst thing yet he was pretty sure "I just don't want… I never want to lose you," he confessed.

"I don't want to lose you either," she told him. As strong a front as she was trying to put up, this new development had her terrified. She had thought that that day in the warehouse had been horrible enough; she never wanted to go through anything like that again and now a new threat had surfaced. She wished her arm wasn't broken so that she could simply hold Elliot close "When are these FBI friends of George's showing up?" she asked trying to change the subject. She didn't want to dwell on the possibility of losing the man she loved.

Elliot checked his watch "They should be here in an hour or so," he told her.

Olivia sighed; she wasn't looking forward to this but if it meant that Elliot would be safe then it was okay with her "What should we do until then?" she asked. The hospital was getting extremely boring.

Elliot thought for a moment. He could think of several things that he would like to do to pass the time, unfortunately most of them were impossible because of Olivia's injuries "We could just talk," he suggested.

She smiled at him. She loved talking to him about anything. They connected on so many levels "Sounds good to me."

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He sat in the empty warehouse, cleaning the knife. The knife was all that was left of Victor and the now lonely man would use it to avenge the only family he had ever known. He still remembered the panic in Victor's voice when he had gotten that call

"_They're closing in on me. I can feel it in my bones. I'm not going down without a fight though. So don't worry about that."_

_He had interrupted Victor "I'll be right there. We'll make our stand together," he had been more than willing to help._

"_No, no," Victor had cut him off hurriedly "If I go down, you gotta finish what I started."_

"_Tell me what I have to do," he would do anything for Victor._

"_There were these two cops," Victor began "I got one of them in the neck but she's still alive."_

"_She," the man was instantly interested "Is she hot?"_

"_Oh she's definitely your type," Victor sounded wistful momentarily "Promise me you'll make her suffer."_

"_I will," he promised. _

Victor had gone on to explain in detail about the two cops and that the girl that he had kidnapped would probably go back to her father when the cops took him down. Victor had made it his business to know the details to impart so that the man could finish his work.

He gave one last wipe down to the knife. Before putting it away he kissed the blade lovingly. The blade that had tasted the blood of so many and would taste the blood of at least two more before it was done. He would make those cops pay for what had happened to Victor, especially that lady cop. He had seen a picture of her on the news and she was definitely his type. When he thought of all the women that had come before, they paled in comparison to her. He only wished that he hadn't had that accident.

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"Check this out," Fin walked into the squad room, holding a file folder. He handed it to Cragen.

Cragen opened the file, the gasp that escaped his lips surprised even him "These numbers are identical."

Munch peered over Cragen's shoulder "This isn't good," he murmured.

Fin let out a low whistle "That's an understatement."

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"I'm Agent Ronda Myers," the smartly dressed woman introduced herself to Elliot and Olivia "And this," she indicated a very stern looking man who stood beside her "Is Agent Clinton Sloan."

"Nice to meet you," Elliot shook the hands of both agents.

"We'll be right outside if you need us," Myers smiled as she turned towards the door, motioning for Sloan to follow her.

Sloan remained standing where he was. He looked long and hard at first Elliot and then Olivia. He grumbled something about having better things to do then baby sit a couple of… the last two words didn't bare repeating. He turned and followed Myers.

Elliot leaned down close to Olivia's ear and whispered "What do you think of them?"

"I'm not sure yet," she whispered back "She seems genuinely nice but he seems like a hard ass. But we just met them Elliot."

He nodded but agreed with Olivia's tertiary assessment of the two agents. From what George had told him, they were two very good friends who owed him a huge favor "I'm not all that sure I like this," he mumbled.

"I don't either," Olivia told him "But its not up to us this time. Just give them a chance," she could already see it in her mind that Elliot and Agent Sloan would clash heads very easily. Sloan seemed like the type who would push all of Elliot's buttons.

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George opened the door and saw Rebecca sitting on the cot, hugging her knees to her chest. He walked towards her and sat beside her on the cot "Hi Rebecca," he said softly.

The small child looked up but said nothing.

"I brought you something," George held out a white teddy bear. He had used his FBI identification to get into the Clifford crime scene. He was able to recover some of Rebecca's things for her. Most of them were packed in a bag down in the squad room but George thought that Rebecca would feel better if she had the bear to hold on to.

Rebecca gave a smile so small that George wasn't even sure of it at first. She reached for the bear and held it close to her chest "Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome," George smiled brightly at the little girl "Are you hungry?" he asked.

Rebecca shook her head, once again becoming the silent, shy, withdrawn child that she had been earlier.

George reached for the child and pulled her into his lap "It'll be okay sweetie," he whispered as he rocked her gently back and forth.

Rebecca didn't believe him. It seemed like everyone she cared about was dying. She couldn't risk caring about anyone else, not ever again.

**TBC**

**A/N: Okay this chapter is a bit shorter than the other ones. I hope that you liked it anyway. I'd really enjoy some feedback though. Have FaithThis is a transitional chapter that had to establish a few things and I want to know if it was still interesting to read.**


	5. Chapter 5: Freedom and Tragedy

**My World**

**Chapter 5: Freedom and Tragedy**

**A/N: I know its been a while since I've updated this one but rest assured I haven't forgotten it. I skipped ahead two months because I found it hard to write interesting stuff with Olivia in the hospital. I hope that you enjoy the chapter and I hope that it isn't confusing. As always, please review.**

George held Rebecca's hand as they stepped out onto the sidewalk. He had just introduced her to the fifth child psychiatrist in two months. She didn't seem to click with any of them. The only person that she ever said even a word to was him which was why he had volunteered to be her foster parent. As an FBI agent, he was more than qualified to be her protector but when it came to actually taking care of a child full time, it was a new experience for him. Rebecca refused to talk about her family or very much of anything for that matter and since the day in the precinct that George had given her back her teddy bear, there was never a moment that she was without it.

George opened the door of his car and helped Rebecca in "Are you hungry?" he asked as he helped her to fasten her seat belt. She rarely ate much of anything and had become a very frail skinny thing. George took any opportunity that he could find to get her to eat.

Rebecca shook her head slightly and clutched her teddy bear tighter. She had spent two months with this man and had to admit to herself that she was fond of him. He read her stories at night the way mommy used to. He watched cartoons with her. He tried to make her smile even though she rarely did. But she couldn't get attached. If she did, he would just get taken away like the rest.

"Rebecca," George knelt down beside her "It's been a long day and you barely ate anything for breakfast. I know you must be starving. How about we go get cheeseburgers?"

"No," Rebecca whispered.

George smiled in spite of himself. It was so good to hear her voice on the rare occasions when she chose to speak "How about pizza?" he offered.

"Home," Rebecca responded before turning her face away from him.

"Okay," he patted the small child on the shoulder "We'll go home but when we get there, will you eat something for me?"

"Uh-huh," she murmured softly.

George smiled and hopped in the driver's seat. He started the car and headed in the direction of his apartment.

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"Antonio Frances Gitano," Fin announced to his partner and Cragen who were the only other people in the squad room "Took me forever to dig up the full truth. It seems our dearly departed Victor had a kid brother."

"Paula Greenfield never mentioned anything about a brother," Munch scratched his head.

"Victor was a habitual liar," Fin reminded him before turning back to the folder in his hand "They were real close as kids. Victor and Antonio went into the foster care system when Victor was eight and Antonio was five."

"Why did it take two months to find this information?" Cragen questioned.

"Had to get the records from California," Fin answered.

Munch took the folder from his partner and began to scan the information "He's been in and out of jail several times," he said to himself "For… rape."

"He preys on kids like his older brother," Cragen concluded.

Munch looked down at the folder again "No, the arrests seem to be for two date rapes in the late eighties. The women came forward later and said that they had it all wrong."

"Had it all wrong?" Cragen asked stunned "Sounds to me like they were forced to recant."

"Very possible," Munch continued to flip through the papers "Some one should fill Elliot and Olivia in on this. Where is Elliot?"

"He's at the hospital," Cragen told him "She's getting discharged today."

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"Sweet freedom," Olivia chuckled when Elliot entered handing her a change of clothes. She stood and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.

He grinned and returned the kiss and smiled "So I get a kiss for just bringing you clothes. What do I get when I take you home?"

"Now, now," she waggled a finger at him as she retreated into the small bathroom "I'm an injured woman, remember?"

Elliot nodded. He most definitely remembered. She was not only an injured woman but she was also in danger, they both were. Sloan and Myers had seen someone in a car near the hospital once or twice but they could never track the guy down. Then of course there were a series of voice mails on Elliot's home answering machine. Elliot had started staying at Olivia's apartment soon after the anonymous caller had begun leaving the messages and whoever it was had decided not to leave messages on Olivia's answering machine. The messages weren't anything specific; the guy never said anything. The messages were just someone playing the news story about Gitano's death over the phone and breathing heavily. While not necessarily a threat, it was still unsettling. Elliot tried to push thoughts of the possible danger out of his mind as he took a step towards the closed bathroom door and said "But your ribs have all healed and you got the cast off yesterday. Didn't the doctors say that it was good to give your body a good work out?"

The bathroom door opened halfway and Elliot was unable to avoid the hospital gown that flew out and smacked him in the face. Moments later, a fully dressed Olivia emerged, laughing hysterically "I don't think they meant that kind of work out."

Elliot pouted "Aw nuts," was all he could manage with a straight face before his smile crept its way through and he attempted to suppress a snicker.

Olivia closed the distance between them and wrapped her right arm around him; her left one was still slightly weak from not being used for two months. She brought her lips to his and kissed him much deeper than before "You have no idea how much I want to 'exercise' with you but I wouldn't feel right with Ronda and Clinton sitting outside."

Elliot nodded yet again and pulled her as close to him as he could "This'll be over before you know it Liv," he told her.

She pulled back and looked him in the eye "Yeah," she said, not believing what he had just told her "I've heard that line before Elliot, remember?" she leaned back into his embrace "Cragen promised that they'd catch him before you even got back to work and that was seven weeks ago. When they thought they saw him outside the hospital, Ronda and Clinton said they'd nail him by the morning and that was over a month ago. And no one has any idea what this guy looks like. I'm so frustrated," she tightened her grip on Elliot as much as she possibly could.

Elliot had only told her about the first time that Myers and Sloan had spotted a suspicious man in a car outside the hospital and he had neglected to mention about the messages that he had been receiving at his home; he hadn't wanted to worry her anymore than she already was and he knew that if she worried, it wouldn't help her in her recovery. He grabbed a bag that sat on the bed "Is this yours?" he asked her.

"Yeah," she answered "That's my stuff," she told him. Truthfully, it was just a few gifts that Casey and the guys had brought her but they meant something to her and she was determined to bring them with her.

"Ready to head out?" he asked, smiling at her and giving her another hug.

"I've been ready for two months," she laughed and the two of them walked out of the hospital room. Myers and Sloan were waiting just outside and as Elliot and Olivia made their way down the hall, Myers and Sloan followed, cautious eyes watching in every direction.

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"What do you want in your tuna salad?" George asked Rebecca as he opened the can of tuna and dumped it into the mixing bowl.

Rebecca sat at the kitchen table, hugging her teddy bear tight against her and looking down at her Sponge Bob placemat. She finally spoke "Peppers," she told him.

"Peppers it is," George opened the refrigerator and pulled a red bell pepper from the vegetable crisper. He chopped it up into little pieces and added it to the tuna. He spread the mixture on a slice of bread and put another piece of bread on top. He put the sandwich on a plate and slid it in front of Rebecca "Lunch is served," he smiled.

"Thank you," Rebecca said in a tiny voice as she picked the sandwich up and took a small bite.

George sat down across from Rebecca "Why didn't you want to talk to Amy?" he asked her. Doctor Amy Jones was the psychiatrist that they had gone to see. George had sat beside Rebecca while Amy asked Rebecca questions about what her favorite things to do were. Rebecca had completely shut down and hadn't said a word, the same way she had done with all the others. She was only just now starting to become a little more relaxed and George wondered for a second if he should have asked the question so soon.

Rebecca stopped chewing her second bite of sandwich and looked George straight in the eye "I don't like talking," she answered.

George could see the truth hidden in that four word sentence; she didn't want to talk about her family. She didn't want to be reminded about them in even the slightest way because it hurt too much. He decided to change the subject "Are you excited about starting your new school this fall?" Rebecca had refused to go back to her old school and now that she was living with George, it wasn't really close anymore. In September she would be starting the third grade (she was being allowed to move on without finishing the last few months of the second) at an elementary school that was only a block away from George's apartment building.

"Maybe," was all Rebecca said; she put the sandwich down, having only eaten half of it, and pushed her chair away from the table. She took her plate and put it beside the sink "Can I watch Sesame Street?" she asked.

"Sure," George smiled warmly. He got up from the table and walked with Rebecca into the living room. Rebecca climbed up on the couch and George sat down beside her. He turned on the TV and the two of them watched the colorful characters.

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Munch hung up the phone in frustration "The woman who saw him at the morgue is out of the country on vacation," he slammed his hand on the top of his desk.

"I guess that means that she can't pick him out of a photo array," Fin mused.

"No shit," Munch muttered "And that means that the only one who can ID him for us right now is…"

"Rebecca," Fin finished for his partner "Damn it," he muttered.

"You two are just going to have to find another witness," Cragen told them "Huang says that she's barely talking as it is and this will only traumatize her further."

Munch grabbed his coat and threw it on "Let's go," he hurried out of the squad room with Fin close behind.

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"Home sweet home," Olivia smiled, stepping through the door of her apartment as Elliot held it for her. She went directly to the couch and sat down. She shivered, two months and the landlord had done nothing about the heat. It was a good thing that it was nearly summer time. She smiled when Elliot sat down beside her, his arm automatically wrapping around her shoulders protectively.

"What do you want to do first?" he asked her as he reached for the TV remote. There wasn't a whole lot that they could do, being under the watchful gaze of Agents Myers and Sloan and Elliot didn't have to be back at work for the rest of the day.

Olivia nuzzled closer to Elliot, reaching behind her and pulling the blanket, which had once again made its way onto the back of the couch once more, towards her "Can we just sit like this?" she asked.

"Yeah," Elliot settled deeper into the couch cushions and smiled. He had been waiting two months to be like this with her again. He loved it when it was just the two of them. In the hospital it had been the two of them sometimes but all too often, doctors or nurses or Myers and or Sloan would interrupt them. While Myers and Sloan were still in the picture, they were comfortably separated from their charges, having set up a base of operations in an SUV that was parked across the street from Olivia's apartment building.

"I love you," Olivia said softly, raising her head from his shoulder and kissing him on the lips.

"I love you too," Elliot murmured into her mouth as the kiss quickly deepened.

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"They made it inside," Clinton said as he turned to Ronda "How much longer do you think we'll have to do this?"

Ronda groaned "Until they catch the guy, you know that," she admonished her partner.

"It's been two months," Clinton stated "There hasn't even been a credible threat."

"Clinton," Ronda turned her gaze to the underside of the car roof "We're doing this out of the goodness of our hearts."

"What heart?" Clinton smirked at her "I rented the space in my chest out to some drummer years ago."

Ronda laughed and smacked him on the arm "You big softy. You know you like them."

Clinton shrugged "They're all right," he admitted. Over two months, he had grown to know both detectives. He had chatted with Elliot about football and about Elliot's kids. He had found that Olivia knew more about model trains than you would expect a grown woman to. Clinton Sloan's love of model trains was something that he rarely talked about with anyone besides his partner.

Ronda grinned, "High praise from Mr. By-The-Book."

"Rules exist for a reason," he told her.

"I know," Ronda turned to stare out the window at Olivia's apartment building. She couldn't help but wonder if some rules were worth breaking; if there was a reason that outweighed all the others that made it okay to turn your back on the rules.

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George watched as the end credits of Sesame Street rolled across the screen. He turned to see that Rebecca had fallen asleep. She was curled into the fetal position, one arm clutching her teddy bear to her chest and the hand of her other arm pressed to her mouth. George didn't know if Rebecca had been a thumb sucker in the months before Gitano had come into her life and utterly shattered it but she was now. He turned off the TV and stood up. Gathering the small child into his arms he walked into the spare bedroom which had become Rebecca's room. He pulled back the covers on her bed and lay her down before tucking her in. Without waking, Rebecca subconsciously rolled onto her side and curled into the fetal position once more. George gently extracted her thumb from her mouth and kissed her softly on her forehead. It was only 2:00 in the afternoon but he knew that Rebecca had had a tough day and probably needed her rest. He turned on the baby monitor in case Rebecca had any nightmares and he left the room.

He headed into the kitchen to put the dishes from lunch in the dishwasher. He took the remaining half sandwich from Rebecca's plate and tossed it in the trash. He was glad that she had eaten half of it; it was the most that he'd seen her eat at one time in the two months that he'd known her. After loading the dishwasher, he sighed and sank into one of the kitchen chairs. It was almost impossible to reach that poor little girl. It was true that day by day she gradually ventured a bit further out of her shell but it always seemed like two steps forward and one step back. George knew that he would have to start the search for a new child psychiatrist. He wanted so badly to help Rebecca. That little girl had stolen his heart.

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"No luck," Munch crashed into his chair with a heavy sigh.

"We can't find anyone else who saw anything Captain," Fin reported.

"Sometimes I hate this city," Cragen muttered. He was sure that someone must have seen something but no one was willing to come forward. He groaned and turned towards his office. Before he closed the door he called back over his shoulder "I'm not going to make that little girl ID the man who murdered her father. Find me another option."

Munch pulled the file they had on Antonio towards him "Let's look up those two victims, see what made them change their minds."

"They live in California," Fin told his partner.

Munch got up from his desk "Pack clean underwear," he said before turning and leaving the squad room.

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"Who's that?" Ronda leaned forward in her seat to stare at a man who was sitting on a bench across from Olivia's apartment building.

Clinton leaned forward as well, closely examining the shabby looking individual who sat still as a statue "Probably just a homeless person," he concluded.

Ronda wasn't so sure. As she continued to watch the mystery man, he opened his coat and began to pull something out. Ronda sprang into action immediately. She opened her car door and pulled her gun "Drop it!" she screamed at the figure on the bench.

The man flung his hands up "Hey lady, take it easy," he protested as his candy bar dropped to the ground.

Clinton quickly joined his partner on the sidewalk "What are you doing here?" he asked the old man who was bending down to pick up the snickers that he had dropped.

"I stopped to rest," the man told him "I have low blood sugar and I needed a snack," he pulled the wrapper open on his candy bar "Then this psycho comes out of no where-"

Clinton cut him off "Show some respect," he muttered in a low tone with a firm, perhaps too firm, grip on the old man's shoulder.

The man shrugged "Sorry maam," he murmured in Ronda's direction. He took a bite out of his candy bar and stood up "Is it all right with you two if I leave now?"

Clinton looked in Ronda's direction. She nodded meekly and he looked back at the old man "Just keep an eye out for suspicious characters. This city's full of them."

"Tell me about it," the old man muttered as he pushed past Ronda and disappeared down the street.

As soon as he was out of sight, Clinton turned to his partner and couldn't help smiling at her. A low chuckle soon followed "If I were wearing a hat, I'd tip it to you. You are a hero to diabetics everywhere."

"Shut up," she groaned "So I over reacted."

"Yeah, over reacted," Clinton gave a pointed glance to the gun in Ronda's hand "Uh, you might want to holster your weapon partner," he chuckled again.

"Oh," Ronda looked down "Sorry," she slipped the gun back into the holster on her belt "I'm just on edge I guess. At the hospital there were always a lot of people and on some level that was easier than it just being the two of us."

Clinton took a step closer to her "It'll be fine," he reassured her "Elliot and Olivia are safe up there and we're down here keeping the street safe from," the grin broke out again and he couldn't control the laughter that slipped out "Old men with snickers bars."

"Like you didn't think the worst when he reached into his coat?" Ronda countered.

Clinton nodded "Okay, I did but… I was more worried about… you."

"Aw," Ronda mocked "You're a true romantic."

"Ronda," Clinton said softly.

"Oh that's right," Ronda put her hands on her shapely hips as she stared him down with her piercing green eyes "Romantic is a four letter word with you isn't it?"

"It's not that," Clinton objected "It's…"

"Look," Ronda interrupted, her blond hair blowing in the wind behind her "This isn't exactly the time or the place for this conversation," she took a step back towards the car "Then again," she muttered "This is the closest we'll ever come to this discussion anyway."

"Ronda," Clinton began but was cut off by something that made him believe that they weren't just doing this job for nothing. Ronda's hand was on the handle of the door when a gunshot rang out.

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"What was that?" Olivia shot up on the couch and immediately regretted moving so fast.

"Easy," Elliot said soothingly as he got up with her and gently eased her back down "Take it easy Liv."

"I thought I heard…" she began, burying her face in his shoulder. She was so afraid of losing him, more afraid than she would let on.

"I know," he responded quietly "I heard it too," he held onto her with ferocity unmatched. He couldn't lose her and what he had just heard made him think that there was a distinct possibility of that and he was scared out of his wits.

Olivia reached for the phone "I'm calling Ronda," she said hurriedly.

Elliot covered her hand with his "Relax," he told her even though his mind was telling him to panic "It was probably a car backfiring or a trashcan falling over or something."

"You're right," Olivia let go of the phone "It's just…"

"I know," Elliot took her into his arms "I know. Me too," he glanced at the clock "6:00, you hungry?" he asked.

"Little bit," Olivia admitted. Truthfully she hadn't recovered from the shock of what she had presumed to have heard and her stomach was still knotted up with nervous energy but she knew that it would do her good to eat something "Is there any food?"

"Do you like grilled cheese?" Elliot winked at her.

"You know I do," she smiled.

"Grilled cheese and chicken soup it is then," Elliot stood up from the couch when Olivia stopped him.

"Stay clear of the windows, okay?" she requested.

"Liv," Elliot attempted to admonish her for her paranoia in this matter but he couldn't find the strength to, seeing as how he was just about to advise her to do the same. Finally he simply nodded in resignation "You too," he told her before making his way into the kitchen.

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George walked into Rebecca's room. She'd been sleeping for four hours and he wanted to get her up for fear that she wouldn't sleep that night. He pushed open the door "Rebecca," he called softly. He walked closer to the bed where Rebecca lay curled into a tight ball "Rebecca," he called again "Time to get up honey," he told her, laying a gentle hand on her small shoulder. The little girl rolled over and let out a piteous sound. George tried again "Rebecca?"

A small hand flew out and smacked him in the face "No," Rebecca cried "Ryan, Ryan," she cried.

George gathered Rebecca into his arms and rocked her gently "Its okay honey," he whispered "Its okay."

"He said we were gonna be okay," she sobbed "He said we'd be fine," she grabbed fistfuls of George's shirt and cried harder "Why did they have to go away?"

George held her closer "I know honey," he whispered, tears starting to gather in his own eyes "It isn't fair is it?" he continued to rock Rebecca in his arms "It's okay, you're safe now."

"I wish Mommy was here," she sobbed "I want Mommy and Ryan and Daddy. I want everyone back."

George just held her and let her cry. This was the first time she'd spoken about her family at all. She was finally letting herself cry. She was letting herself feel and even though it was hurting her now, it was a step in the right direction. Rebecca cried for a full fifteen minutes. When her sobs finally slowed, George pulled back so that he could look at her "You want some dinner?" he asked "I made macaroni and cheese."

Rebecca nodded "Okay," she said and took his hand as they walked out to the kitchen.

George had sat Rebecca down at the table and served her a generous helping of pasta when the phone rang. He answered it and found it hard for him to get a word in edgewise "Slow down, slow down," he soothed "Who got shot?" he waited for the frantic woman on the other end to respond. He was forced to think on his feet "Look, you're sure you're okay for now Ronda?" she sobbed what sounded like an affirmative response before George continued "Are Elliot and Olivia at the hospital with you?" another sob that sounded like the word 'yes' "Okay, I can't leave Rebecca but we'll be there as soon as we can," this time a sob that sounded like 'thank you' came over the phone "See you soon Ronda. Hang in there. Clinton's a stubborn fool, he's not gonna quit on you," he hung up and sat down at the table across from Rebecca who had stopped eating.

The little girl could sense that something wasn't right. It was as if having so much tragedy in her own life made her able to feel it in other's "Something's wrong," she said simply.

"A friend of mine got hurt," George told her "He's in the hospital and some other friends of mine are there waiting to see if he's gonna be okay."

"Are we going to go wait with them?" Rebecca asked.

"I'm going to go but you don't have to if you don't want to," George told her "I could call someone to come over and watch you-"

"No!" Rebecca protested quickly "I wanna stay with you."

"Okay," George smiled reassuringly "You finish eating while I pack some stuff for you. We might be there for a while."

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Olivia took a deep breath as she walked back into the waiting room with her hands full of coffees. She had just left the hospital only hours before and didn't like being back so soon. She didn't like being back so soon in the least bit; it left her feeling very unsettled. She entered the waiting room and handed a coffee to Elliot who stood up instantly to pull her to the side "Any news yet?" she asked.

"Not yet," Elliot sighed. He glanced in Ronda's direction "She's taking this really hard," he would have been more worried if Ronda wasn't taking it hard but she didn't look well at all.

"I'll talk to her," Olivia said, allowing her lips to graze Elliot's in the barest of kisses. She walked up to the seat where Ronda was slumped over with her head in her hands and took the chair next to her. She held out one of the steaming cups to her "Coffee?"

Ronda took the cup and wrapped her hands around it tightly as if it were the only thing keeping her together "Thanks," she murmured.

"The doctors here are some of the best," Olivia said reassuringly "They're gonna do everything possible for him."

"I know," Ronda half sobbed "Just before it happened… we were talking about… us."

Olivia nodded in understanding. Maybe it was the fact that she had had two months in the hospital during which the two agents had sat with her on numerous occasions or maybe it was the fact that she too had developed deep feelings for her own partner but she knew without Ronda having to say anything how the other woman felt about Clinton Sloan. "No matter what happens," she told Ronda "Elliot and I are gonna be here for you… both of you."

"Thanks," Ronda sniffled. It was at this moment that George and Rebecca entered the waiting room.

Olivia stood up "I'll be right back," she told Ronda as she walked over to where Elliot stood, giving George some privacy with his friend.

George came over and quickly occupied the seat that Olivia had just vacated. He pulled Rebecca into his lap "Rebecca," he said softly to the little girl "This is my friend Ronda."

Rebecca surprised George when she held out her small hand and spoke up "Nice to meet you," she smiled politely "I hope your friend gets better."

Ronda smiled, unable to help the tears that had been spilling over since they had loaded Clinton into the back of the ambulance. Somehow they seemed hotter as they fell at the innocent kindness that this broken child was showing her "Thank you," Ronda finally managed to whisper.

"Hey you," George smiled, turning Rebecca in his lap to face him "Why don't you go sit with my friends Olivia and Elliot over there."

Rebecca looked in the direction George was pointing and instantly recognized the people that had found her in the warehouse. She reluctantly slid off of George's lap and took a step in their direction. She knew they were nice people but she was still afraid for some reason.

Olivia and Elliot were whispering with their heads close together "It's good to see her," Elliot noted, referring to Rebecca.

"She's so thin," Olivia was heartbroken to see the fragile little girl "She looks so scared."

Elliot took Olivia's hand and held it tight "She's coming over here," he stated the obvious. For all that they reminded Rebecca of, Rebecca in turn brought back painful memories for them.

Rebecca reached where they sat and stood in front of them shyly "Hi," she whispered "I remember you."

**A/N: Still much more to come.**


	6. Chapter 6: Nature of the Beast

**My World**

**Chapter 6: Nature of the Beast**

Olivia extended her hand to Rebecca "Hi," she returned the child's greeting "How are you doing?" she asked.

Rebecca didn't say anything. She simply climbed into a chair beside Elliot and hugged her teddy bear tight. She peered across the room at George as he spoke to Ronda. She hoped that he would be done soon. It wasn't as if she hated the people who had saved her. It was just that she didn't feel comfortable around them.

George looked across the room at Rebecca and his heart broke. He wished that he could just go over to her and scoop her up in his arms but right now Ronda needed him; she was lost without Clinton and the possibility of losing him was killing her. Rebecca would have to be brave for a little while longer. Besides, George knew that Elliot and Olivia wouldn't let anything happen to her and it wasn't as if she was in another state; George could see her quite clearly from where he sat. He cleared his throat and turned to Ronda "He'll pull through," he told her with total conviction.

She looked up at him "I've seen a lot of things in my time with the bureau. I've seen blood before. Hell, I've seen a witness shot to death right in front of me and I was powerless to stop it. But this time… it was his blood George," she tore her gaze away again.

"I know," George wrapped his arm around her shoulders "But he's been through worse and come out on top. Remember Miami?"

Ronda nodded and smiled slightly "I never saw someone actually punch a shark before."

"We both thought he was a goner," George reminded her "Him and that kid but he walked right out onto the beach with that little boy in his arms."

Ronda nodded, remembering the look on Clinton's face when their guy had tossed the child into the raging surf. He had dived right in without so much as a second thought. When Clinton set his mind to something, he was unstoppable "I just don't know what I'd do without him," she admitted.

George nodded "He's gonna make it," he told her again.

"But what if he doesn't?" Ronda didn't want to think realistically but she knew there was a possibility, a very distinct possibility, that before the evening was over she would be calling Clinton's aging mother in Vermont and his half brother in Atlanta to let them know that their family would have to bury another agent, another man who had been a credit to the bureau, another life cut far to short by an assassin's bullet.

"It's going to be okay," George told her "Whatever happens, you'll get through it."

"Thanks," Ronda smiled faintly as she ran the back of her hand across her eyes to obliterate the tears although it did little good as fresh ones quickly sprang forth.

George held his friend close "It's okay," he whispered "Just let it all out."

"She's very sad," Rebecca whispered to Olivia.

Olivia turned at the sound of the small child's voice "Yeah," she agreed.

"I'm gonna go see if I can find the doctor," Elliot told Olivia as he stood up and headed towards the receptionist's desk.

"Hey," Olivia smiled at Rebecca "Do you wanna go get a soda?"

Rebecca looked pensive for a moment. She was getting very thirsty "Fruit juice?" she asked quietly.

"Let's go see what they have," Olivia said, standing up and taking Rebecca's hand as the child slid off the chair onto the floor. The two walked down the hall in the direction of the vending machines.

George was about to get up and ask Olivia where she was going; his parental nature seemed to be kicking in. He was almost on his feet when Elliot appeared, followed by a doctor. George and Ronda turned to the doctor instead.

Ronda was on her feet as quickly as humanly possible "How is he?" she asked.

"He lost a lot of blood," the doctor began "We were able to remove the bullet without causing any further damage but he slipped into a coma."

Ronda was stunned "Will he… what are the chances that he'll wake up?"

"We're not quite sure," the doctor informed her "But he's strong. It's very likely that he'll pull through."

"Can I see him?" Ronda asked. She needed to see him, to see with her own eyes that everything the doctor had told her was true.

The doctor nodded "This way," he said softly as he led Ronda down the hall.

Elliot turned to George "Where did Liv go?" he asked.

"She and Rebecca went down the hall," he told him "They probably went to go get something to drink."

Elliot nodded and sat down. The hospital was a safe enough place that he wasn't overly worried about Olivia going off on her own; she had gone on at least three coffee runs by herself since they had been in the waiting room. He turned to George "How has Rebecca been doing?" he asked.

George sighed "It's so hard to get her to talk to anyone. She barely eats. I'm worried about her."

"She'll come around," Elliot reassured "She's been through a lot. She's probably afraid that if she gets too comfortable with you, something'll happen and she'll have to go somewhere else."

"Today was the first time she talked about Ryan," George whispered.

Elliot felt his heart give a painful twinge at the mention of the boy who he had let die for the sake of the woman he loved "She's finally letting herself heel," he murmured.

"Yeah," George agreed "I know so many things about the human psyche but when it comes to Rebecca, its hard to see anything other than her.

Elliot nodded and clapped the other man on the shoulder "Welcome to fatherhood my friend."

"Is it going to be like this all the time?" George asked with a heavy sigh.

"Nah," Elliot smiled faintly "Sometimes it's a lot harder."

"Thanks," George said sarcastically.

"You're never gonna stop worrying about her," Elliot told him "But with all the worrying, there are those special moment that you wouldn't trade for anything in the world."

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"Let's see," Olivia looked at the selection of juice "They've got apple, orange and grape."

"Apple?" Rebecca asked timidly.

"Sure thing," Olivia smiled as she put her money into the machine. She pushed the button and the bottle of juice dropped to the bottom. She reached in and took it out. She turned to hand it to Rebecca only to freeze in her tracks.

"Stand up slowly," a man who looked like a shabbily dressed homeless man told her as he held a knife to Rebecca's throat "Don't say call any attention to yourself unless you want another child's death on your hands."

Olivia did as she was told, letting the bottle of juice fall to the ground. She could see the look of absolute terror in Rebecca's eyes "Okay," Olivia said softly as she held her hands up in front of her for the man to see "Just let her go."

"That isn't going to happen," the man sneered "Now, get in front of me and walk slowly out of the hospital."

Olivia again did as she was told. She walked slowly out of the hospital and into the parking lot. The man stood directly behind her; she could feel Rebecca trembling against her back as the man directed her towards a dark car at the far side of the parking lot. He instructed her to open the door to the back seat and she did. He shoved her roughly inside and through Rebecca onto the floor of the car. He climbed in on top of Olivia, keeping Rebecca in place with his right foot pressing down hard on her stomach. He searched through Olivia's pockets, tossing her cell phone and wallet onto the curb behind him. He ran a hand over her as he gave her an appraising once over.

Olivia wanted to fight back but she was too afraid of what this man might do to Rebecca. She tried to bargain for the small girl's freedom "Let her go," she pleaded "Please, she's just a child," Olivia could hear Rebecca whimpering in pain on the floor of the car.

The man tore Olivia's shirt off and sent it flying from the car to join her phone and wallet on the curb "I don't think so," he whispered vindictively as he rolled her onto her stomach and ran a length of rope around her wrists.

"Please," Olivia was reduced to flat out begging. She didn't care what happened to her as long as Rebecca got away safely "She's just a little girl. You're hurting her. Please let her go."

The man paused and thought for a moment "All right," he conceded. He picked Rebecca up off the floor of the car. Olivia could see the look of pain in the child's eyes as the man held her roughly "Don't you tell anyone about this," he whispered harshly to Rebecca as he took her right arm in one hand and snapped it effortlessly. He through Rebecca onto the curb along with the other things that he had decided were unnecessary and shoved Olivia onto the car floor in her place. He bent low over Olivia as he ran a hand under her bra "We're gonna have some fun together," he whispered. He shut the car door and came around to the driver's side. He got in and they sped off into the night.

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It had been ten minutes and Elliot was getting worried "It shouldn't take this long to get a soda," he murmured as he stood up.

George agreed and followed him down the hall towards the vending machines. In his mind, George was hoping that they would turn the corner and find Olivia and Rebecca leaning against the wall, chatting about some inconsequential topic that would occupy Rebecca's troubled mind for a while and maybe even make the little girl laugh. This was not the case.

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Ronda took a seat beside Clinton's bed. She took one of his hands "Hey," she whispered to her comatose partner. With her other hand she wiped a tear from her eye "Listen," she sniffled as she leaned closer "You've gotta pull through this. I… I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do," she admitted softly. She shifted her position in the chair slightly "I'm not sure what I'm supposed do this time. You're always the one who knows what to do in these tough situations. I mean look at me," she chuckled bitterly through her tears "I jumped a guy with a candy bar for God sake. Sometimes I wonder how I even get through a day without ending up in the position that you're in now."

A nurse came in to change the bag on Clinton's IV. She smiled sympathetically at Ronda "Can I get you anything dear?" she asked.

Ronda half heartedly returned the other woman's smile "No thanks," she responded flatly.

The nurse came around and laid a hand on Ronda's shoulder "Are you his wife?" she asked. She didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"No," Ronda replied.

"Girlfriend?" the nurse asked. She hoped she wasn't being a pain but she felt for the woman.

"No," Ronda answered. She took out her FBI badge and showed it to the nurse "His partner," she told her.

The nurse smiled softly "Well agent Myers," she began "If you need anything, my name is Caroline," she gave Ronda a pat on the shoulder "I'll be back to check on him in an hour," Caroline left and Ronda turned back to Clinton.

He was lying so still, hooked up to so many machines. Constant steady beeping filled the room. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze "You've got to come back," she whispered "I need you."

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The first thing that George saw was Rebecca's teddy bear lying on the floor. He walked slowly towards it and picked it up. His heart was racing and yet at the same time the world around him seemed to be moving in slow motion. Rebecca would never just leave her teddy bear behind. Something must have happened. He looked over at Elliot who looked as distressed as George felt.

"Where is she?" Elliot whispered. He was of course referring to Olivia. He instantly had the feeling that something was very wrong. He moved down the hallway, drawing his gun as he went. He reached the door to the parking lot and pushed it open.

George followed him outside "Rebecca!" he called. He wasn't quite sure what to do. His entire brain had shut down. All he could do was worry and search.

The two men turned in the direction of a small sound. It was the sound of soft crying. As they got closer, they saw it was Rebecca "Oh my God," Elliot whispered as he knelt beside the little girl. He could see that she was shaking and that her arm appeared to be bent at an unnatural angle.

"Rebecca honey," George whispered as he put a hand on the child's uninjured shoulder "Sweetie it's me. We're gonna get you inside and get you some help okay?" Rebecca nodded, burying her face in George's chest and wrapping her good arm around his neck. George stood up with her in his arms "It's gonna be okay sweetie," he soothed as he headed back towards the hospital.

Elliot was about to follow, he knew that something must have happened to Olivia and he had to call the captain, when something made him stop in his tracks. Only inches from where they had found Rebecca, lay the shirt that he had brought Olivia just that morning. He reached for it. It was now a useless rag. It had been torn. He noticed her cell phone and wallet lying next to the shirt. He stopped himself before he contaminated the evidence. He whipped out his phone and called the captain. He didn't even wait for Cragen to say a word when he answered the phone "It's Elliot," he said quickly "We've got a problem."

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Olivia struggled to get her hands free from the rope that dug painfully into her skin. The car sped down the dark highway, the driver not saying a word to her only occasionally reaching his hand back to cop a feel. He made her nauseas. She was going to kick his ass as soon as she got her hands free. If nothing else, she had managed to convince him to let Rebecca go and even though he had hurt the child, she had been left in the parking lot of a hospital. That at least was something to be grateful for.

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Elliot stood by the vending machines, trying to get a cup of coffee. The machine was being incredibly stubborn and in his frustration over everything that had happened in the last half hour, he punched it hard, denting it and splitting his knuckles open.

"That's willful destruction of public property," the dry statement made Elliot spin around to see Cragen standing there.

Elliot looked away "Yeah well the machine started it," he muttered bitterly.

"How's Rebecca doing?" Cragen asked as he turned and began to walk back towards the waiting room.

Elliot took a deep breath and blew it out in a puff of defeat "Um… Huang's with her. They set her arm and she should be fine," he explained all that he knew. He took another deep breath "Any leads?" he asked.

Cragen cleared his throat "CSU got finger prints off of Olivia's phone," the two entered the waiting room and Cragen leaned against a wall facing Elliot "There was a match to Antonio Frances Gitano."

"Gitano's brother," Elliot murmured in recognition of the name.

Cragen nodded "The surveillance tape shows Olivia walking out of the hospital with him," he lowered his voice "He had a knife to Rebecca's throat."

Elliot nodded. Olivia had done what she had to do to save Rebecca's life. She was always like that. He felt tears springing to his eyes and he had to turn away "I'll kill that bastard myself," he hissed as he punched the wall in anger with his already injured hand.

"We're gonna get her back," Cragen reassured him "As soon as Rebecca is up for talking, we'll see if we can get a description of the car from her," secretly, Cragen was afraid that Rebecca wouldn't be up to talking.

Elliot sank into the nearest chair "So we're supposed to sit here and play the waiting game?" he asked in a tone full of both despondency and incredulity.

Cragen sank down beside him "I hate it as much as you do," he told him "But until we have a lead, we can't do anything else."

Elliot stood to his feet once again "I can't just sit here," he told Cragen "I'm not gonna just sit here and let that bastard do whatever the hell he wants to the woman I love!" and just like that, the cat was out of the bag. Elliot would have to deal with the consequences of what he had just said but the consequences could wait until he found Olivia.

"Take it easy," Cragen tried to calm Elliot "TARU is trying to narrow down where those calls to your phone came from. If they can do that, we'll have a place to start looking."

Suddenly everything snapped into place in Elliot's mind. The messages on his machine had played the story about Gitano's death. All that had been said that Gitano had taken a male hostage and that a police officer had been forced to shoot him. Elliot started off down the hallway.

"Elliot," Cragen called as he chased after him "Where are you going?"

"I know where he's taking her," Elliot said quickly.

"What?" Cragen said in disbelief "How…?"

"The news story about Gitano's death," Elliot began hurriedly "It never said that he was killed by a sniper. Somehow Antonio knows that Olivia and I were on the case. The story said that Gitano had a male hostage. In Antonio's mind that means that Olivia murdered his brother."


	7. Chapter 7: Something to Fight For

**My World**

**Chapter 7: Something to Fight For**

After what seemed to Olivia like hours of driving, the car finally stopped. The man got out of the front seat and came around to the back. Olivia hadn't been able to get her wrists free yet. As he opened the door, she reminded herself that she needed to remain calm. The second the door opened, she struck out with her right foot and knocked the man flat on his ass. She managed to scramble to her feet and climb out of the car. She nearly tripped over the man's body as she started to run. But she didn't get far. The man grabbed one of her ankles and held it. She tried to pull away but instead ended up falling on her face. With her hands restrained behind her back, there was nothing to break her fall and she fell hard. She let out a groan of pain as the man pulled her into a standing position. He tightened his grip further still simply to make her squirm.

"Move," he said roughly as he pushed her towards the building.

Olivia recognized the building almost instantly and gasped. Why would this man bring her here? She didn't have much time to ponder this question as the man shoved her to the floor. He knelt on top of her and simply smiled. She managed to throw him off and kick him again "Son of a bitch," she muttered as she staggered to her feet once again.

"Oh no you don't," the man pulled her down to him once more "I can see that you're gonna be a feisty one," he ran a hand over her body "We'll just have to do something about that now won't we?" and there it was again, the knife "Do you know what this is?" he asked.

"A knife," Olivia responded dryly.

"Cute," the man's non knife holding hand found its way to her throat and gave it a tight squeeze. He simply smiled as he watched Olivia gasp for breath "You've got a lot of spirit," he told her "Do you know who else had a lot of spirit?" Olivia simply shook her head, unable to talk because of the grip that the man had on her wind pipe. The man released his grip slightly and continued "My big brother Victor had a lot of spirit."

"What?" Olivia gasped in surprise "You're…" she found herself gasping for air once again.

"Yes," he answered as he released his grip on Olivia completely and shoved her to the floor of the warehouse "Victor was my big brother. He was the only family I ever knew," he bent down and cut away the rope that had bound Olivia's wrists together and kicked her onto her back so she lay, staring up at him "And you took him away from me."

"Your brother was a sick man," Olivia said in an even tone as with the use of her hands, she pushed herself into a sitting position.

"Stay down!" he screamed at her as he kicked her hard in the stomach.

Olivia inhaled sharply and fell back down to the cold cement floor. She shut her eyes against the pain for only a moment before opening them again and trying to gain control over a situation that seemed hopeless "I'm sorry about your brother," she began "But he did some very bad things. He had to be stopped."

"Shut your mouth," the man screamed angrily as he lifted the knife high above his head. After a few moments he seemed to regain control of himself. He knelt on Olivia's stomach as he began to whisper to her "This is his knife. It thirsts for blood. It thirsts for your blood," he slowly lowered the knife to her flesh…

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"How can you be sure?" Cragen asked as he sat in the passenger seat of Elliot's car.

"This guy is insane," Elliot began as if that alone was a reasonable explanation for there intended destination "You said that Victor was his only brother and that they went into the foster care system when he was five, right?" Cragen nodded "It stands to reason that they were close. He'd be hiding out somewhere where he feels close to his brother even though he's dead."

"But why not go to where Gitano is buried?" Cragen mused.

"Where could he hide out in a federally funded cemetery?" Elliot countered "No, he'd go to the last place Victor was alive."

"You're sure about this?" Cragen asked again.

Elliot was getting frustrated with Cragen's doubts. Of course he was sure. He wouldn't waste any time chasing down a hunch if Olivia's life was in danger. Antonio had been nearly meticulous. Elliot was positive. He turned to Cragen and glared "Yes," he answered simply.

Cragen sighed and settled into his seat "I hope you're right," he muttered.

Elliot crossed the New Jersey state line, knowing that he was right and knowing in his heart that before they returned to Manhattan, the other Gitano brother would be lying dead on the same warehouse floor where Victor had died.

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"Hey Rebecca," George smiled as he sat beside her hospital bed. She hadn't been allowed to have her teddy bear with her during surgery so he had been holding it for her "Look what I brought for you," he said as he held the bear out to her.

She smiled and took it, clutching it to her chest tightly with her good arm "Thanks," she said softly. The bad man had come back and taken someone else. Rebecca may have been to young to understand a lot of what had happened but she knew that Olivia had made the man let her go. She also knew that George was still there.

"You hungry?" George asked. It was 11:30 at night but George had snuck in a treat for Rebecca because she had been such a brave little girl during the surgery.

Rebecca nodded a little bit "Kind of," she admitted.

"I brought you something special," he told her as he pulled a cookie out of his pocket.

"Thanks," Rebecca smiled excitedly than wrinkled her nose when she saw what kind of cookie it was. She took it anyway and took a bite but she was unable to hide the sour face that she made as she chewed it.

"Is something wrong?" George asked. He had known this child for two months but he had no idea what kind of cookies she liked.

Rebecca looked away "Don't like raisins much," she admitted.

"Oh," George said with realization "I think I saw some chocolate chip cookies in the vending machine. I'll be right back."

"No!" Rebecca reached for him with her good arm and clung to him.

George wrapped his arms around her "Shhhh," he soothed "It's okay," he whispered "I'm here."

"Don't go," she sobbed. She didn't want him to leave; if he left, the bad man would just make him disappear too.

"Okay," George whispered "I'll stay right here."

Rebecca smiled and leaned back against the pillows "Thank you," she said softly as a loud yawn asceped her.

"I think someone's tired," George teased.

"Am not," she protested even though she yawned again.

"Yes you are," George told her "Now close your eyes and get some sleep."

Rebecca rolled onto her side and closed her eyes. After a few minutes she asked "George?"

"Yeah honey," he responded from where he sat beside her bed.

"Are they gonna find Olivia?"

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Cragen got off his cell phone and turned to Elliot "It seems that there's something to your hunch," he began "CSU says that the calls to your home phone originated from that area of town. They can't tell us for sure but…"

"He's there," Elliot said with total conviction "He has to be."

Cragen nodded "I also made that call that you asked me to make."

"And…?" Elliot pressed as he turned down the side street.

"He'll meet us there," Cragen told him "It might take him a while though."

"That's time that we don't have," Elliot muttered under his breath.

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"Get off of me!" Olivia yelled as the knife cut deep into her flesh.

The younger Gitano brother was taking extreme pleasure in the long slow cuts he was making. He simply laughed in her face "When I'm done with you," he grinned "All that'll be left will be a blood stain. Just like that one," he pointed to a dried puddle of blood only a few feet away "That's all that's left of Victor," he said with contempt.

Olivia managed to wiggle free again and stood to her feet. She ran as fast as she could out into the night. It wasn't an especially cold evening but since she wasn't wearing a shirt, she shivered anyway.

Antonio followed her and had almost caught up with her when a car came around the corner, momentarily blinding him with its headlights.

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"Oh my God," Elliot exclaimed as he turned the corner onto the street that the warehouse was on. He braked instantly and he and Cragen both bolted from the car. Cragen went over to Antonio and slapped the cuffs on him "Antonio Frances Gitano," he started "You are under arrest for the murder of Glen Portney, the attempted murder of FBI Agent Clinton Sloan and the kidnapping and assault of Detective Olivia Benson…"

As Cragen continued to read Antonio his rights, Elliot approached Olivia. He took off his jacked instantly and wrapped it around her "Thank God," he murmured as he gathered her into his arms "Are you all right?"

Olivia had been trying to keep it together for so long. She had been trying not to think about how she might never see Elliot again. Now that he was standing right in front of her with his arms around her, she broke down. She began to cry softly at first but the tears quickly came faster and faster "I thought," she whispered "Oh God, I was so afraid."

"I know," Elliot whispered "Me too," he pulled back from her and noticed the cuts on her shoulders and stomach. They didn't look very deep but still they would need to be cleaned and bandaged soon. He pulled her towards the car with him "Let's take care of those," he suggested gently.

Olivia nodded and sat quietly as Elliot held wads of gauze over the wounds until the bleeding had stopped. He ran an alcohol swab gently along the cuts and bandaged them for her "Thanks," she whispered.

"Of course," he whispered back as he pulled her back into his arms and held her. He had been so afraid. He couldn't begin to explain the relief that he had felt when he had turned the corner and seen her there. He let silent tears fall as he ran a hand through her hair "I'm so glad that you're a fighter," he whispered with a smile.

"I had something to fight my way back to," she responded as she held him as close to her as humanly possible. They sat in the car together for some time while outside, another police car arrived and Cragen put Antonio into the back seat of it; he wasn't going to make Olivia ride back to Manhattan in the same car as the man who had tried to kill her.

Finally the two separated "Let's go home Liv," Elliot took her hand in his and squeezed it gently.

"Sounds good," she responded, pressing a chaste kiss to Elliot's lips "Sounds very good."

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"You should get some sleep," Caroline informed Ronda when she came in to check on Clinton.

"What if he wakes up?" Ronda asked, unable to tear her eyes away from Clinton's sleeping form.

Caroline came over to Ronda "Honey, when he wakes up, he's gonna need you to be strong for him. You can't be strong for him if you're half asleep."

Ronda nodded "I'll just be here another two hours," she promised.

Caroline smiled "How convenient that that's after the shirt change and you'll have another nurse who doesn't know that you've been here all night."

Ronda nodded and flashed the other woman a small smile "It is convenient isn't it?"

"Take care of yourself," Caroline told Ronda in all sincerity as she gave the other woman a pat on the shoulder before turning and leaving the room.

Ronda gave Clinton's limp hand another squeeze "I know you can hear me," she began "I know you're taking your time coming back just to spite me," she smiled slightly "I'd really appreciate it if you stopped doing that," she laughed and then became serious again "You have to wake up so you can explain to me all of the ways that we wouldn't work as a couple. Remember you told me you had a list? You wouldn't tell me a single one of those reasons but you know, I've always been curious about what they are," she wiped an errant tear from the corner of her eye "I love you," she whispered.

Clinton blinked his eyes and focused on Ronda's face "I love you too," he whispered hoarsely. Then he smiled and added "But do you ever shut up? I was trying to be in a coma over here."

Ronda smiled as tears cascaded down her face "Hey," she whispered "I missed you."

"I was right here," he smiled faintly at her as he squeezed her hand.

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They had been on the road for only about twenty minutes when Elliot pulled over. He turned to Olivia with a question in his eyes, one that he didn't want to ask. He cleared his throat "Did he…?" he began.

Olivia knew what he was trying to ask. She took his hand in hers and gave it a loving, reassuring squeeze "No," she responded, her eyes glossing over with tears "I'm not sure if it was even something he planned to do," she left out the part about how Antonio had repeatedly groped her on the way to the warehouse; she didn't think Elliot needed to know "At any rate," she said, taking a deep breath and trying to clear the moisture from her eyes "You got there before he could."

Elliot smiled at her faintly. He knew that the fact that she was sitting beside him at that moment had just as much if not more to do with the fact that she had refused to give up and had kept fighting. He shuddered to think of what might have happened if she hadn't been there when he turned that corner; if she had still been in that warehouse with Antonio he wasn't sure how much worse off she would be at this moment.

Olivia decided to change the subject to a topic that she had been worrying about ever since Antonio had peeled out of that parking lot "How's Rebecca?"

"She's got a broken arm," Elliot told her "But she'll be fine. She's a fighter too," he smiled. He pulled back onto the road and headed for Manhattan again "You saved her Liv."

"I don't think I did," she admitted softly "Nothing I said seemed to resonate with him. I don't know why he let her go but I'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with what I said."

"Don't say that," Elliot told her softly "You had everything to do with that little girl being safe and sound right now and don't you ever forget that Olivia."

Olivia nodded and quickly changed the topic again "How's Clinton?"

"Last I heard," Elliot started, remembering that he had learned this information only minutes before he realized that Olivia was missing "He's in a coma but the doctor said that it was likely that he would wake up."

"Likely," Olivia repeated "But not a certainty."

"No," Elliot agreed "Not a certainty," he looked ahead to the taillights on the car in front of him "I'll call Ronda at the hospital when we get home."

"Sounds good," Olivia yawned before she even realized it "Excuse me," she said quickly.

Elliot looked over at her and for the first time he noticed how tired she looked. He reached up and brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear "Try and get some rest," he told her softly.

"You're sure?" she asked "You mean right here in the car? You don't mind?"

"No," he smiled warmly "Of course I don't mind. You've been through a lot Olivia and…" he looked to the line of taillights in front of him "We could be here a while," in the back of his mind, he thought it was weird that traffic would be at such a crawl this late at night but he tried to push the thought from his mind.

Olivia closed her eyes and allowed sleep to wash over her. She was incredibly exhausted "Wake me up when we get there?" she asked in the same breath as another yawn.

"Sure thing," Elliot smiled. He had no idea that only a mile ahead, there was an accident, the consequences of which would touch his and Olivia's lives and change them forever.

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Rebecca stirred in her bed and moaned something incoherent before sitting bolt upright "Ah!" she screamed.

"Shhh," George was at her side in a moment. He wrapped his arms around her "It's okay honey."

"The bad man," she whispered.

George had received a call from Cragen over an hour ago. Cragen had told him that they had arrested Antonio and that Olivia was safe and sound. George hadn't wanted to wake Rebecca to tell her but he had been planning to tell her as soon as possible "They got the bad man," he told her "He's not gonna hurt you or anyone else ever again."

Rebecca nodded "I know," she whispered "He's gone," Rebecca had had a nightmare about a fiery car crash. She woke up with the distinct feeling that the bad man was dead but he wasn't the only one.

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"Hey man," Fin called to his partner "Are you okay?" he was getting concerned; this was the forth time that he had tried to get John's attention. John appeared to be lost in thought.

"Hmm?" the older man mumbled as he became aware that his partner was talking to him "Yeah, yeah I'm okay."

"You looked like…" Fin trailed off, not able to find the words "Where did you go just now?"

"Nowhere," John answered honestly "I just got this feeling like… like someone I know just died."

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Olivia stirred slightly in her sleep. Elliot turned to look at her; traffic really hadn't moved more than an inch in the last half hour. She looked peaceful but at the same time profoundly sad. He wondered about this but didn't wonder long because the car in front of him moved another six inches and Elliot took his opportunity to get just a little bit closer to home.

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It was a sunny day in the cemetery. Olivia was watching the events unfold before her as if it was a movie. The open grave lay, waiting for the casket which was being brought towards it. There were four pallbearers, cops, all in dress uniforms. They drew closer and Olivia was able to see their faces. It was at this point that she became confused. The two in front were Elliot and herself.

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Olivia shot up and looked around the car nervously "Elliot," she called hoarsely "Elliot," she didn't see him at first; her vision was still clouded with sleep.

"I'm here," he placed a hand on her shoulder "Its okay," he wrapped an arm around her shoulders "This traffic jam sucks," he joked "But other than that, everything's okay."

Olivia heard his reassurance but for some reason she just couldn't shake the vividness of her dream. She grasped Elliot's hand where it rested on her shoulder and held it tight "I don't know," she whispered "Something doesn't feel right."

**A/N: Dramatic music! Okay everyone. I hope you liked this chapter. Please review.**


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